Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.
On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.
On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?
On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Kim: btw what do u call a guitar that already has the pickup inside it?
Fergus: a pickup guitar
like a pickup truck
Kim: got it
Oh dear lord.
3:57 pm ]
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Welcome back Heidi.
5:45 pm ]
Friday, October 24, 2008
: do you know about pipettes' new lineup?
two of them quit earlier this year
i only just found outtheyap
: it gets more depressing
thety've been joined by two new members
the remnant girl - the blonde foxy one - said that the "new band" will have more 80s influences, with "more of a dance element"
cool kitsch 50s girlgroup revivalists - over
what's worse - the cute brunette, the one i liked - is gone
this is a cruel world, i tell you
it looks out for the things in life that make you happy and it rips it uptheyap
10:51 am ]
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Go ahead. vote for your pro-life president. or go ahead. go vote for your anti-gay marriage president. as long as you know that you can't legislate morality, and the only thing you'll effectively be changing is the way people behave when the authorities happen to be looking.
you're not really getting any holier.
Labels: christianity, politics
9:50 am ]
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
ON POWER AND VULNERABILITY
God is all-powerful. They call it omnipotence. But when God decided to love us, did he not also become vulnerable? Did he not open his heart to be broken, many times over, by us when we don't really love him back?
I love this God. I love this God that only the Bible reveals. A God who didn't need hearbreak, but allowed himself to know it, just so he can know us.
10:45 am ]
Monday, October 20, 2008
LIFE IS CHEAP
Some Christians will fight for the life of unborn children but also fight to end the life of foreign soldiers.
Does the sanctity of life really diminish between the womb and the battlefield?
Can we really pray for our infants while we give guns to our infantry?
Labels: christianity, daily
12:11 pm ]
Friday, October 17, 2008
TO QUOTE: ON THE PRICE OF RECORDS
"I think the current prices are ok, what is it £7.99 online? That's enough to keep my swimming pool full of mineral water."- Noel Gallagher
11:02 am ]
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
IN SEARCH OF VERSE ON POVERTY
Ever been frustrated because you're wanting to pull up a bible verse but can't find it? i'm thinking of one right now. what's worse is that it's one of the verses that i told myself i'd live by. one of those about the poor and the rich, about us needing to let go before we can receive or something like that. something in the vein of how the last shall be first, but it's not that one. it's definitely from the gospels and it's very likely to be from the synoptics. but i just can't get it.
and biblegateway isn't even useful right now because i can't even remember any of the key words now to even hazard a search. i tried poor, rich, poverty and least. none of them did it. all i got with me is the memory of saying it to vernon some time ago as he was dropping me off at home and we were talking about a church in singapore. and when i used that verse that night, it came to mind so naturally. now, it's just not there.
it's frustrating me to the extent that i'm almost persuaded that the Almighty Himself is behind this little cat and no mouse game. maybe i'm supposed to stop chasing after that verse.
maybe i'm supposed to start living it first.
5:21 pm ]
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
THE COFFEE TYPEPete Martell: How do you like your coffee?Agent Cooper: Blacker than midnight on a moonless night.-Twin Peaks
I remember having one of those church committee meetings and someone had one of those Jesus mugs that said "What wakes you up in the morning?" (the correct answer is not
for the last maybe five years, i've been self-diagnosed allergic to coffee. when i drink it, it makes me want to throw up. my heart beats funny and i go completely wonky. i've been quite happy to be a tea-drinker, up until recently, when ironically a batch of very nice bangladeshi tea landed on my table and i wondered what it would be like to be one of those other people.
those coffee-drinking people.
drinking tea is becoming more in. just like how eating salmon and salads is attracting even liam gallagher these days. but i've always been fascinated with coffee-drinking. i just couldn't touch it.
don't get me wrong, i don't like the tall mochachino with skinny milk idea of drinking coffee. coffee for me is no more romantic if the beans came from honduras. coffee for me is romantic because it's the non-smoking tortured artist's drug. it's romantic for its late nights, lonely thoughts, isolation, piles of work and, from a cinematic perspective, a nice waitress and cigarette smoke.
and so, i've reattacked the wanky black beverage one last time and i've decided to make it a good one. one big hurrah of a go before i concede defeat and return to my south-asian leafy alternative. i made a cup the other day and took about five sips across one hour. a whole hour. just to acclimitise.
i didn't like, die. far from it.
i woke up. a bit more. sip. and a bit more. sip.
the next day, repeat. then the next day, repeat. then repeat. every day now, i've had a coffee, sipped slow to death, but sipped nonetheless. maybe i've overcome the allergy. maybe it was never there to begin with. maybe i just made my coffees too damn black for the love of its romance. maybe now i can really drink coffee. like all the cool people. nice.
so i ask myself. what the heck am i doing, at 28, drinking coffee for image sake? or better yet, let me ask you something. me and coffee is just one example. do you think we'll ever reach an age in our lives where we effectively stop doing things in the name of projecting an image?
Labels: food, identity
12:12 pm ]
Friday, October 10, 2008
THE POP RECORD TEST
When i was growing up, i had a test to see if an album could hold up as a good pop record.
the test was this: an album needed to have four solid singles and two solid album tracks. Doesn't matter if the rest was shyte. if an album had six songs that did it for me, it was worth the 40 precious teenager's dollars.
my jury has largely returned on oasis' supposedly colossal lp dig out your soul
. but a few of my jurors are still drinking teh ais and talking about be here now
so i will wait for them to return before i pass judgment on this album.
so while i wait for my sophisticated senses to return from their deliberation, i fall back today on my teenager's test to a good pop album: four good singles, two good album tracks. and i realise one thing.
this isn't a pop record.
3:03 pm ]
Thursday, October 09, 2008
I never bother.
11:13 am ]