Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.
On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.
On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?
On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.
Saturday, October 30, 2004
ALLEGIANCES AND A MATTER OF SPLITTING
ernest and i were just noting over dinner that audrey is a flavour of the month girl (haha! she won't object to it). you know, one day it's roberto baggio, then it's leonardo dicaprio, then it's ronaldo, another day it's i dunno... every few years she changes a new man. so that got me thinking about the whole idea of allegiances, firstly about football, and then about other larger things.
what makes people support certain teams? well, if they come from that place it's understandable. but for malaysians like me, what makes me supporting liverpool more sincere or silly than, say, steven's undying support for man utd? neither club has done anything personally special for us, save some good moments in front of a telly. most of the time, it's because these teams pricked our senses at one particular instance, and because of it, we started following.
i know cases of people following 'teams'. in the early 90s, i passionately supported the ac milan team that had van basten, gullit, riijkaard, baresi, donadoni, lentini, etc. but that was just a 'team' thing. it never went on to become a long-lasting love affair. when papin, boban, baggio and the rest came in to replace the old guard, i stopped liking them. today, i can say i love liverpool fc the 'club', not jus the team. i've been with them from the spice boys years through to the boring houllier years and now the spanish laced rafa benitez season. three managers and the heroes have gone from fowler to owen to luis garcia. there's no shaking my loyalty now.
so this is where the other things come in. from where i come from, there are few things that can spark a heated debate as football and religion. i'm sure it's the same across the world. what makes people put this kind of allegiance on any one thing? for me, a sold-out christian, i can tell you that i got all my faith in the Jesus basket because he has turned my life around, promises me a future and i can see that he has kept his word whenever he's spoken. but a football club? and what about the things that don't come near rivalling?
like nationalism! i know a time and a place where nationalism was top drawer when it came to allegiances. world war germany and japan, for instance. and what about politics? america seems so divided right now about allegiance to political figureheads. and what about economics? hey, don't laugh. the entire maoist era of china's history was one big case study on a people completely sold out, not to country or to persons or even politics, but to an economic policy that said private property was evil!
now, i would like to think i love malaysia more than liverpool fc. i probably never would have but for some choice words handed down by vernon some years ago about love for malaysia, so now i think i have allegiance to malaysia. i have allegiance to SIB, my church. i will defend our culture, pastors, leaders and beliefs fiercely. but my highest allegiance is and can only be that to my God, creator, savior, Jesus Christ.
and if i have all my eggs in his basket, then what are some eggs doing in the liverpool fc basket? can a person have his allegiances divided between different subjects matter and still consider all their eggs in one basket each time? i skip my matches to be in church... that's why i'm divided on this question.
what say you?
6:36 pm ]
Friday, October 29, 2004
OCTOBER IN A NUTSHELL
build my gallows high (noir novel)
tmnet broadband musical ads
gospel of john
shelley leong & indon worship
u.s. closing bell at 3am
teh o ais limau
1 john, 2 john, 3 john
"come on, man! it's 2004!"
12:15 pm ]
Thursday, October 28, 2004
GLIMPSE OF WHAT IT MIGHT BEI feel so blessed this morning.
Last night i visited SIB KL's BM church in chow kit with stacey and ong. it was such a blessing to me. actually, ever since i flicked through joshua's malay bible, it's been put in my heart what SIB is all about - reaching out to the indigenous ( peoples' of malaysiaor perhaps, more appropriately, reaching in). it seems so clear to me now how the salvation of this nation is going to come from this. up till last night, i'd only known three malay worship songs (two of which are usually only dug up around merdeka time, haha!). today, i got ready for work with a few new ones in my head.
for someone who lives in a fairly insulated anglocentric world, this was one of those things, like a "glimpse" thing that i sometimes get in the middle of worship or a sermon or something. i had this glimpse last night of what it might be like if we had a nation strong in the gospel, worshipping Tuhan Yesus in an indigenised way.
"Bersyukurlah aku pada pagi ini. kerana semalam, Tuhanku menunjuk kepadaku rasanya apabila saudara Malaysia yang berbilang kaum dan keturunan, tetapi semuanya dalam Yesus, berkumpul untuk memuji namanya. terima kasih, Bapaku di syurga. dalam nama Yesus Kristus, raja penyelamatku, Amen!"
Labels: christianity, identity
1:04 am ]
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF FILMIC SPACE">"We're not in Kansas anymore
10:57 am ]
Monday, October 25, 2004
THE MEDIA IS NOT A BAD THING PREACHER MAN">There is a trend that's always been around. it's been there since my school...
10:55 am ]