Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.


On identity
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.

On Christianity
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.

On dreams
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.


On melancholy
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.

On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.

On language
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.

On politics
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?

On society
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.

On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.

On philosophy
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?

On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.


Monday, April 04, 2005

My mind is scattered. i sit here with a meal in my mouth larger than my teeth can sink into and i am tossed around. i fear where i am. in some ways, i am excited for myself but i am also fearing what lies ahead. it's strange, you know, when one feels all mixed inside and a right foot looking forward is met by a left foot afraid of the world.

i shouldn't be! and i know i'm sounding cryptic, and i also shouldn't be!

all-in-all, i can only say that i've organised my life quite horribly and a good system needs to be put in place lest everything really goes awry. april is gonna be one massive month for me. i've just double-booked tusday night, with both the media team and to shop for bibles with ash. while this is a matter easily gotten around (rescheduling with ash, i guess), it serves as an ominous reminder of the terrible things that can happen if i let things go the way they are.

this second quarter is gonna really test my organisational growth and i hope that by the end of june, i'll have something to shout about.

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