Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.
On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.
On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?
On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
What i'm about to write is something i'm still wrapping my head around. if it's offensive, or factually erronneous, or full of holes, engage me on it.
a lot of christians keep a close eye on israel and the israel situation. because of the origins of our faith, it's not only natural but almost intuitive to do so. i also know a lot of christians who are very pro-israel. my own pastors are leading the line on this, so again, i think this position is fairly mainstream.
but there are things about israel - and christians' unequivocal support of them - that bug me. i guess at the heart of what i'm struggling to understand is this: is the israel of today the same israel as that of that of the old testament? or perhaps i could finetune the question a little.
is national israel today the same israel as that of the old testament.
one more finetune.
is national israel today the same "israel" as that of the old testament.
i can understand it if christians are looking at an old testamental israel with hopes of the endtimes. i can understand it if christians bless an old testamental israel because God said that whoever curses them will be cursed. it's not that i don't get it. but what israel are we fixated on today?
the old testamental israel was an israel of a testament. they were an israel of a promise. this present day national israel does not look like that israel. when i read the papers, it hurts to see that the national israel of today's trust rests not in their God YHWH, but in a nuclear stockpile and an allyship with the united states. what is so "israel" about this israel?
i'm a chinese christian. i know nuts about what it means to be semitic. but i know that israel's finest moments have always been when the odds were stacked against them and they trusted God to deliver them. sometimes, by sheer miracle (the parting of the sea), sometimes by sheer absurdity (jericho's walls), and even many times by military strength (david's many conquests). but the God of the old testament also did say that it is not by might nor by power but by the Spirit, and this is the same God who wouldn't let David build his temple because of the blood he shed.
as a christian, i wish i had a testamental israel to look towards for the hope of escathology. but no such israel seems to exist. the existing israel's trust is not in God - chosen people of God that they supposedly are. they protect themselves like how north korea and pakistan protect themselves. what's so special about an israel that looks like that. maybe it's also apt to ask what's so special about any christian nation that protects itself like that. nothing. nationalist militaristic nations are, if i may adapt the yiddish term, goyische
, and i have no intention to fixate on them.
national israel today is a goyische israel.
why is the christian church so fixated about a goyische national israel?
i'm not. i'm not even impressed.
nothing about the middle east today, and its conflicts, inspires me to love and revere this same YHWH more. as a bypassing observer of the mainstream press, the nation we learned to love in the old testament today bears for me an embarrasing testimony to the rest of the world.
just more of the same weapons, only in different hands. really, what's so special about it?
Labels: christianity, politics, violence
3:10 pm ]
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Labels: defeat, melancholy, quote
12:16 pm ]
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Is that you in my sketchup model fergs
1:02 am ]
Thursday, October 01, 2009
There's a big difference between working very hard for the man and working very hard building your own house.
i've slogged before as an employee. it feels like chickenshyte. you feel like they're sucking the life out of you. and now, i'm slogging as a business owner, but i'm feeling the difference. it's tiring. it's more tiring. and sometimes, it's just downright rubbish, but when you sit back and look at the work you've done, there's a sense of satisfaction because this thing now belongs to you. and you've planted a tree into your own business' frontyard. and when this tree starts fruiting, i'll be here to pick it up. and for all the exhaustion, i've not been feeling as spiritually bankrupt as the working hours suggest i should be.
i guess i'm seeing some purpose behind all the rigours of my current life.
Labels: exertion, growing old, survival
6:08 pm ]