Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.


On identity
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.

On Christianity
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.

On dreams
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.


On melancholy
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.

On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.

On language
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.

On politics
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?

On society
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.

On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.

On philosophy
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?

On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.


Monday, September 29, 2008

Go square go square go go go go.


Genusfrog [ 3:59 pm ] | 0 comments

Friday, September 26, 2008

Somtimes, that's not enough!


Genusfrog [ 5:37 pm ] | 1 comments

Thursday, September 25, 2008

The rack keeps pulling.


Genusfrog [ 6:20 pm ] | 0 comments

Friday, September 19, 2008

It felt like one of Calvino's train stations. Those neon lit stations that remind you of some indecipherable past. The train is unspectacular. I sit alone in a cabin. I get the feeling that I'm a long way from the front.

It doesn't matter.

The spectacular happens anyway. The train careens off the tracks into a desert. It keeps travelling, without a railroad beneath it. This goes on for days.

All day outside my cabin window, all I see is dust. I wait for hours to see some sky. At one point, I imagine the desert as a narrow strip, like a beach. A narrow strip of sand, animal bones, buried treasure and pale yellow shrubbery.

After a few days, I forget where I had been headed to. Perhaps it was a terminal in the city. A crowded station where the teenagers slept on the benches and the turnstiles believed they were the cogs that moved the city.

Perhaps there was nobody at the station.

As it turns out, there was no station. The train lumbers to a stop with its first two cabins submerged in a gaping hole where desert sand used to be. People took photographs. They took turns to take photographs. They smile and show peace signs to the cameras. One of them put his hand on the wreck and gave a thumbs up to the pointed camera, believing as it clearly did, that the train was some relic.

When a train wrecks, nobody remembers where it was going. People only remember where it fell over. They arrive with their keen senses of journalism. And they report.

This is not my report. This is my port.


Genusfrog [ 12:02 pm ] | 0 comments

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Got this in the email, but since i'm not large for forwarding it on, i'll give it a bit of airspace here. what isit?

a disgruntled car park hunter wants to locate the owner of this badly parked black vios, numbered wpk 6393. i feel for the person who started this email chain. the temptation to publicly shame the owner of this car far outweighs any temptation to, say, scratch the car with your keys - which i know many people do. it's certainly more constructive. and considerably more resourceful.

for me, i was once partially blocked from exiting a car park by an SUV. i left a note on the windscreen saying that "only a savage will park his car like this". i've written several other similar notes, calling people names, but along the way, reminding them that the combination of a motor vehicle, a fool and society at large is bad news.

and so, i like this method. take a picture and make sure it gets into every inbox in greater kl. so, to the owner of this black vios, mister or miss wpk 6393, i hope the spread of your infamy teaches you to be a bit more considerate next time.

i guess you can pass this on.


Genusfrog [ 9:04 am ] | 1 comments

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Maybe i've just witnessed history in the making. history, i guess, is the kind of thing you don't know you're participating in until it's over. but it felt like history ... in the making.

it felt like one day, i could tell my kids that i was in that very kelana jaya stadium when anwar ibrahim announced he was ready to take over the government. maybe one day, if "916" becomes something of a landmark, people will look at that 20,000 strong meeting and say that it all started happening again there. i could tell my kids that i was in that crowd, waving the malaysia flag whenever i heard something i agreed, clapping when i heard something worth clapping for, and keeing quiet either when nothing moved me or when something moved me deeply.

i don't know if 916 will be fondly remembered, like the berlin wall or march 8, or if it will become another piece of recyclable in the trashbin of miscellaneous history. in that sense, attending rallies for story-telling value is a bit like betting on blackjack.

i'm glad i wasn't just there for story-telling value. and i never play blackjack.

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Genusfrog [ 2:52 pm ] | 1 comments

Monday, September 15, 2008

I wanna shoot the whole day down.


Genusfrog [ 5:30 pm ] | 1 comments

Saturday, September 13, 2008

"Is anyone getting married soon? I wanna paint the walls."

- My dad


Genusfrog [ 5:32 pm ] | 0 comments

Friday, September 12, 2008

I will change, forever.

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Genusfrog [ 10:40 am ] | 0 comments

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The last time an album came along and did this to me, it was Arcade Fire's Neon Bible.

Listening to this album over and over again gives me the kind of buzz like i'm listening to something special. It's like the first time anyone ever heard Definitely maybe or the early Arctic Monkeys demos. Or in my case, like hearing The Raveonettes' Whip it on! ep. There's something sinister about a record that you just don't know how to stop playing.

Describing music is never adequate, but the melodies on this record are reminiscent of doo-wop ballads from the early 60s. The guitars are fuzzy, perhaps shoegazy. The lyrics are desperate, direct but poignant. Lead singer James Allan rips through every note with his Glaswegian accent. The themes are regretful but the sound is triumphant.

I'll leave you with one of the compelling reasons why this album is conquering my heart right now. Right mouse + save target/link to download the song below.

Glasvegas - It's my own cheating heart that makes me cry


Genusfrog [ 4:28 pm ] | 0 comments

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Today, i move.

yes. after three years living alone, in a rented apartment that gave me all the privacy i could have asked for, i've decided to move.

i'll now live in a downstairs room in a reasonably spacious house. my new landlady is an 80-year-old aunty who yesterday showed me albums of yellowish 1970s photographs of her british mixed chinese grandson from the 70s.

my room is cosy. i'll make it even cosier. audrey asked me to make it bohemian. i just might.

i picked up the keys yesterday and paid two months' rent. i don't always show it but this move means a lot to me. i have a lot of friends whose apartments get completed next year. in 09, at least four of my friends will move into places they bought. sometimes, i think, what am i doing? i'm not only moving sideways, i'm moving from living in my own apartment to renting a room.

where am i going?

yes. where am i going? the truth is, this move frightens me. it stone cold frightens me.

but i'm ready to be frightened.


Genusfrog [ 5:31 pm ] | 1 comments

Monday, September 08, 2008

Today, I'm thinking of the shit monster again.


Genusfrog [ 1:52 pm ] | 0 comments

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Shoebox Tales is a wrap!


Genusfrog [ 1:51 pm ] | 2 comments

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Tennis is fun. But boxing is funner!


Genusfrog [ 1:49 pm ] | 0 comments

Friday, September 05, 2008

Looks like we didn't make it.

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Genusfrog [ 5:22 pm ] | 1 comments

Thursday, September 04, 2008

The only thing on my mind, for three days in a row, is fried fish.


Genusfrog [ 2:46 pm ] | 0 comments

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

"Man, that's like an exact same replica!" - shamefully spoken by me.

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Genusfrog [ 9:39 am ] | 1 comments

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

His thinking patterns just totally blow my mind, like how charles picking beletti this week blew adrian's mind.


Genusfrog [ 3:11 pm ] | 0 comments

Monday, September 01, 2008

Ok everyone, out now.


Genusfrog [ 3:13 pm ] | 0 comments