Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.
On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.
On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?
On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
EVERYONE'S SAYING "SEE YOU NEXT YEAR"
4:03 pm ]
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
(to Lily and her sister): the both of you don't look alike at all.Lily
: well, you and ernest and audrey also don't look alike.Fergus
: no. i look just like audrey. especially when shes pregnant.
7:16 pm ]
Sunday, December 21, 2008
ON CHRISTMAS AND REAL LOVE
I don’t know how to let my friends and family know that I’m not trying to convert them. I just want them to be part of my christian life, and part of that christian life involves being there for christmas celebrations in church and – quite inadvertently – in a place where Jesus is recommended as choice for life.
I don’t want to convert my friends and family. They are autonomous adults with their own faiths and as much as they’ve respected mine – to the extent of stepping into Jesus turf to be with me – I owe them the basic respect to not run a covert operation to convert.
i don’t want to be known as a converting christian. I’d much rather be known as a converted christian. A christian whose life has gone down a better road since he chose this strange world of churches, pastors and christmasses without santas. I don’t want to compromise my christianity but even more than that, I’m tired of christianity’s bad reputation and I don’t want to contribute to it. No, not this christmas.
This christmas, I don’t want your soul. I just want your friendship. I don’t have an agenda this christmas, I just have an invitation for us to be together. This christmas, and maybe next christmas and the christmas after that, I want to learn what it’s like to be a christian without a hidden intention to evangelise. I’m through with snazzy gambits and insincere care. The kind of care that, when faced with rejection of Jesus, either continues to insensitively push harder or disappears in the direction of the next convertable person. From now on, I want to learn what real love is like.
And what does real love look like? I do know one thing – real love continues to love even when someone clearly says no to Jesus, and it loves (and cares, visibly, practically) without hidden agendas. It’s weird, that after six and a half years of being a christian, that I’m only now understanding what Jesus meant when he taught about the good samaritan and loving your neighbour. Who would have thought that two thousand years after Jesus riled up the pharisees by showing them that real love has its knees on the dirty floor, that we would have to learn all that from scratch again today.
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, that eventually, the Jesus factor too will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. This christmas, I’m not trying to con you. I promise.
11:02 pm ]
Thursday, December 18, 2008
I CAN'T WAIT FOR 2009
Bring the curtains down tonight. i'm all set.
4:55 pm ]
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
DEATH OF SAFARI
I think somebody sitting in a stinky tech support cubicle a quarter of the world away woke up one morning, took a stab in his post-slumber stupor at a list of web browsers and decided that he would block all safaris from running.
to the guy behind this decision, i hate you. for robbing me of my favourite web browser, i sincerely hate you.
i've now reinstalled firefox because i refuse to use the monstrosity that is internet explorer. i've got no complaints with firefox. in fact, it might even be a superior browser. but i love safari. i love it's stability, its little blue folders, its intuitive menus and brushed steel interface. and today, i am mourning what seems to be a its indefinite demise from my 9 to 5 existence.
in the meanwhile, allow me to direct my grief at the person who disabled safari from running on our system by reminding him that when he goes to bed tonight, somebody in the world thinks that he contributes negatively to existence.
Labels: death, internet
3:05 pm ]
Friday, December 12, 2008
8 POINT GUIDE TO BUYING A BIBLE
Hah. so you thought that going out there to buy a bible is just a simple matter of picking up a 20 ringgit gift bible and blessing the cashier on the way out. well clearly you've never applied your mind to buying a bible before! muahaaa! ok why am i laughing like a villain from a bad movie? nevermind. here are 8 things to have your eye on when you go out to purchase the word of God.
font makes all the difference. you're gonna be reading this every day. it better be a typeset that's pleasing to the eye. a font that's heavy on serif, like georgia or times new roman, carries with it an air of formality, dignity and maybe even old-fashionedness. conversely, a sans serif font, like calibri, arial or verdana just looks a lot more modern, young, even relevant. never underestimate the power of font, my friends. it can make the difference between a believer really believing that leviticus has relevance to the 21st century or not. and yes, my bible is sans serif.
nevermind what the actual words are supposed to make us feel. does the book feel nice in your hands? leather binding always makes your bible feel more serious and important. they always remind me of the lambs that were slain. hard covers feel more studious, more unyielding. they remind me of absolute truths. paperbacks feel more pulpy and user-friendly. a bit more like applying blacks and whites in a grey world. velvet bibles take you closer to solomon's temple but further from the Jesus' leprous streets. i've seen firm-grip rubbery covers. i'm convinced that they subliminally remind you to hold tight to God's word. texture, my friends. you have no idea what it's been telling you.
this is a no brainer. a big bible offers larger print and looks more impressive when you haul it out during a sermon. but if like me you read your bible above your face while lying in bed, your nodding off will be divinely punished via crushing of nose. a small bible will be harder to read but can go everywhere with you. a small squarish fellow will fit into your handbag. a thin long one will fit your back pocket. most of the time, you'll be staring square into medium-sized bibles, but think about the benefits of something bigger or smaller before deciding to fall into the middle.
believe me friends that how your page is put together makes a difference. does each verse start on a new line? these are the best bibles to own if you like being the first to find scripture. or do the verses continue without line breaks? i've seen bibles laid out like storybooks, with virtually no chapter and verse numbers. before you think it's ridiculous, those bibles will have you know that the original manuscripts all look like that. and it doesn't just stop there. are there footnotes? cross references piled up in a column down the middle ridge of the page? are there margins for you to write in? are there pictures? charts? maps at the back?
hah. and you thought words like niche only exist from monday to friday. the bible market is a niche market people. you don't know how many nice looking bibles i've had to put back on the shelf because they're the ultimate radical teenager's bible, or the woman in ministry bible, or the bible for the prayer warrior within you (with an index of claimable promises of God), or the ultimate leadership bible, or a devotional bible for men in their forties. whatever your niche - even if it's manga - there's a bible that's built specifically for you. except jaded young working adults. they don't make bibles specially for jaded young working adults.
see, now we're talking about the hard stuff. translations, man. are you more of a dynamic translation kinda guy? if you are, then perhaps the NIV is for you. or perhaps you read about the NIV being the devil's bible and decided to play it safe and ended up with a formal equivalence translation bible like the NKJV. or maybe all this jargon is not your thing. you just want the bible in today's english and nothing else, so you've unwittingly moved from an NASB to an NLT. or what about a paraphrase? have you checked out the Message? whatever you do, please, please, please do not buy the (old) king james version. freeda bowers quoted from the KJV throughout her 40 days book and i almost died every night when i had to read that book.
at some point, you have to ask yourself why you're buying the bible. if you want it to complete your eclectic bookshelf then go for something with an authoritative-looking spine. if you want a bible to read everyday then get something more readable and sparse. if, like me, you're a geek and finding a bible with more commentary than scripture thrills you eventhough you know you might never read any of the commentary, then maybe what you're shopping for is a study bible. and it doesn't just stop there. in the bible market, geeks rule. put differently, if you're the kind of guy who wants to compares modern english with the king james english with the ancient greek with the masoretic hebrew, you're more likely to find a bible than a girl who will take you as you are.
oh yes, you better believe it. there are lots of gimmicks in the bible market. i saw a bible that's branded as a thirst-quenching bible. the outer cover looks like a plastic water bottle, complete with cap. take the lid off and instead of water emerges springs of everlasting, totally boring-looking bible. not a very smart gimmick. then there's the metal bible. those are way cool. flick open the tin latch and a very smart bible flips open. there's even one called the mossy oak bible, whose cover camouflages with the bark of a tree with crawling twigs and vines. the publisher's notes say that it's "perfect for outdoor adventurers".
and so my friends, you see that bible shopping isn't something you dash in and out of the bookstore for. it's an exercise that can demand more out of you than your simple faith can withstand. it's a hallowed project, requiring only the most optimised customisation that your complex identity deserves when it comes face to face with the capital W of God. and finally, do your generation proud. we are 21st century postmodernists. we judge a book not only by its cover but also by all the other ridiculous details that surround it. it's the least we could do for a book we hold so dear.
Labels: christianity, review
8:46 pm ]
I recently had a tech problem at work that originated from a system crash. after ding donging with the tech support person, the problem got remedied, and i asked - not without sarcasm - if the initial problem would ever be investigated now that the immediate concern is relieved. here's what transpired, via email.
Tech support: we need to create the incident to investigate it. If you are able to re-create the incident please list out the steps so that we can investigate.
Me: ...as for recreating the incident for us to investigate, I’ll have to check out the object and then reproduce a system crash. Might not be kosher, so I’ll let this sleeping dog lie.
11:25 am ]