Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.
On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.
On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?
On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Today, i move.
yes. after three years living alone, in a rented apartment that gave me all the privacy i could have asked for, i've decided to move.
i'll now live in a downstairs room in a reasonably spacious house. my new landlady is an 80-year-old aunty who yesterday showed me albums of yellowish 1970s photographs of her british mixed chinese grandson from the 70s.
my room is cosy. i'll make it even cosier. audrey asked me to make it bohemian. i just might.
i picked up the keys yesterday and paid two months' rent. i don't always show it but this move means a lot to me. i have a lot of friends whose apartments get completed next year. in 09, at least four of my friends will move into places they bought. sometimes, i think, what am i doing? i'm not only moving sideways, i'm moving from living in my own apartment to renting a room.
where am i going?
yes. where am i going? the truth is, this move frightens me. it stone cold frightens me.
but i'm ready to be frightened.
Labels: growing old
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