Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.
On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.
On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?
On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
THE CITY I HATE
Jin: Its such an irony fergus. Me a KLite not wanting to stay in KL. You a johorian likes KL lifestyle so much. Why ah?
Fergus: No. I hate kl. I hate it to the bone.
Jin: Then why are you still here? Answer me.
Fergus: I can't answer you. I dunno how.
Jin: :) You confused yourself. Everybody wants to come to KL. I wonder whats so good here.
yeah. what's so good here anyway? not the roads, not the buildings, not the pace, not the cars, not the noise, not the food either. why do we all come here?
and if kl sucks so bad, why the hell am i still here? moaning and moping about it every day? gosh, i should just stop being such a miserable bastard and make some decisions in my life. if it's city life that i hate then maybe i should start being honest about it and actually turn my back on it. cut it all off once and for all and start a new life where my delusional head thinks will make me happy.
but i won't. i'm not brave enough. and i don't know if i'll ever be brave enough to live that kind of life that i keep daydreaming about.
i'm just chicken. a boy with lots of dreams and none of the balls to back them up.
the movie? didn't i do the movie?
this year, i learned the difference between courage and bravado. going out there and making a movie because you dreamt it can be brave. but it can also be bravado.
but making a movie about how cruel the city is, and still live in it, and mope about it, now that... that's a 21-piece kfc barrel full of chickenshit.
Labels: defeat, dialogue
6:14 pm ]