Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.


On identity
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.

On Christianity
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.

On dreams
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.


On melancholy
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.

On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.

On language
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.

On politics
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?

On society
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.

On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.

On philosophy
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?

On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.


Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Some days happen for you. and some days just don't. now, today didn't happen for me.

ever woken up with a strange dream and had it affect you right about till mid-afternoon? i have a tendency to let odd dreams bug me for hours and today was not much different. me and my siblings were having a party by some beach, or at least, some beach resort. we brought a speaker there and i brought my sm58 mic. though i have no clue why, i remember i was talking through the mic but no one was singing or anything. when everyone wanted to go in to the water for a swim, i realised it wasn't safe to leave such an expensive mic lying around. getting instructions on where her car was parked, i headed off to keep it there.

so this leads to a loop, whereby i go around the roads in circles. i keep going back to the same place, passing by the same houses - one of them, a landmark house where i walk through it's garden - assures me that i keep going in circles. i never find winnie's car and i never eventually go back to the resort. i just keep going round and round and round this neighbourhood, and all i can really remember is the mic in my pocket and that house whose garden i keep having to walk through. and then i wake up


actually, i woke up struck with a crippling fear, because far from the dream, i was fearing some other things going on in my life right now. and i don't ever remember being so afraid before. praying about it helped and quiet time helped. after all this, then i became Mr Grumpy. not having much to do - apart from calling a publishing office trying to set an interview date - i parked myself in bed reading Hwa Yung expound on "inculturation of theology". my grumpiness gradually turned into a deep blankness (now there's another oxymoron for ya!). i was mamaking with calvin, mi me and jon - my media core. and i was just so spaced out.

so i've learnt something today. actually... i haven't. it was a dumb dream and though i've found no justification for sharing it here with you, i have. as brodie says, "i must be slipping in my old age".


Genusfrog [ 11:55 am ]


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