Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.


On identity
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.

On Christianity
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.

On dreams
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.


On melancholy
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.

On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.

On language
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.

On politics
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?

On society
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.

On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.

On philosophy
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?

On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.


Monday, June 02, 2008

by this october, I'd have worked here for four years.

more recently, i've had people tell me that it's time to move on. four years is a lot of time and that i'll need to start moving again to keep myself fresh. they say that you need to move enough times so that when you hit 30, you're still attractive to new employers. they also say that in my office, if you stay too long in one position, you become very unemployable.

i've always told my boss and my friends that i'll only leave this place to go full time into my film career. whether that comes in the form of pushing the red street diner, driving a second film or going into the grindhouse of soulless corporate videos has never really been the point. the point is that i've never seen myself climbing any kind of corporate ladder and i've never seen myself as one to leave one desk job for another. it just never seemed to jive with what i have in mind.

now the bible is full of stories contrasting people who go by faith and people who go by sight. there was ishmael, the under-favoured son of a consuelo - born of sight. and then there was isaac, the great heroic covenental child - born of faith. there was lot, lured by the bright casino lights of jordan - went by sight. and then there was abraham, who trudged into a barren wasteland otherwise signposted as canaan - went by faith.

sometimes, i really wonder if it's faith or stupidity or fear or bravado that drives me to stay on this job until my film career takes off. i know that what people say is true. if there's ever gonna be a crack at the job market for fergus ong, that crack is closing as i inch towards thirty. and every day that i stay here is like a gamble that in some next-door industry, my star is gonna shine.


Genusfrog [ 4:44 pm ]


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