Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.
On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.
On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?
On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
FIRST QUARTER RESOLUTION ASSESSMENT
A quick stop in front of the march mirror lets me assess my 2008 resolutions. some are looking good and others have not taken off at all.
1. send my laundry in every thursday or other practical day within a week of that thursday
the devil is in the details, and i would fail this resolution if by thursday, i actually meant "thursday". the laundry gets sent, it comes back and this happens a lot more frequently, partly because i've discovered the best laundry lady in selangor. her name is suzie and she picks up and drops off laundry at your doorstep.
2. finish 8 books
animal farm came and went on the plane to gold coast, and persistent plugging away on my toilet reading eventuated with philip yancey's the jesus i never knew reaching a close. i know, you're thinking that fergus shouldn't be reading jesus books in the toilet.
3. meet vernon for dinner fortnightly
ok mate. i'm gonna have to pull out the pr machine, get the spin doctors in and hatch a plan that will put all the blame on you! (breaks into sad face for tv cameras.)
4. exercise purposefully for 30 mins every week
fail. i tried taking the stairs at my apartment to match taking the stairs at church. of course, that lasted for a whole two weeks or less. there have been recent proposals to play badminton, tennis and futsal, all of which i've spurned without consideration.
5. do my tenrox every friday when i don't feel like working
again, i didn't actually mean "friday" when i wrote that. my tenrox has been decent, unspectacular, but also not spectacularly bad. i've been emailing procurement and production scheduler faithfully on copy days.
6. tithe properly
so far so good. and God's been listening too. in january, with the australia trip looming, i set aside x amount to tithe and told God i'll trust him to help me out till the next paycheck. my dad called a few days later and told me he had some aussie dollars to pass me. guess how much? x++
7. produce and give away five oil or acryllic paintings
one out of five isn't bad. i painted something for mummy during cny and i was quite happy about it. was at a gallery the other day at the gardens and i think i'll spend quite a bit of the second half of this year painting in the weekends. i'm determined to make it 5/5 by christmas.
8. go for prayer meet on non-cell weeks
fail. not a single one. not even during the election weeks. but alas, every cloud has a photogenic thingy about them. and praying has become less of a second nature for me this year.
and so, three months pass and another three will go by, possibly, before i can even arrest the delay in some of these resolutions. all in a day's living when you're ever the pessimist. but i'm happy with the first three months of this year. there are lots of other achievements elsewhere that are outside the scope of these resolutions. i'm happy with those too.
Labels: hope, housekeeping
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