Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.


On identity
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.

On Christianity
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.

On dreams
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.


On melancholy
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.

On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.

On language
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.

On politics
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?

On society
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.

On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.

On philosophy
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?

On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.


Friday, March 07, 2008

Two recent events, when juxtaposed, made me see this elections differently. the first was the priviledge i had to drop by at a dap ceramah this week. the second was worship in church.

at the ceramah, people rallied around their political leaders, honking their cars as the next headliner arrived and when lim kit siang turned up, about five thousand people were chanting his name. the mc introduced him as a "champion" who'd been "fighting for so long". his sheer presence at the ceramah lent the entire proceedings weight. i heard this morning that last night, ten thousand people gathered at pantai as anwar ibrahim led a predominantly malay crowd to pledge support for malaysian chinese and indians. politics, as you'll know, has never been short of heroes.

but it was on the sunday morning before that that i stood among other christians in church and sang "hosanna, hosanna, hosanna to the highest". and as i sang that, i remembered a time when lots of people shouted those same words. it was on palm sunday.

mats were spread and the jews of jesus' day hailed his entry into jerusalem. though he entered on a lowly donkey, they hailed him for it nonetheless. maybe they missed the point that he was making, because a few days later, this same crowd that shouted "hosanna, hosanna, hosanna in the highest" had changed their worship number to "kill him".

crowds are fickle things.

so when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for? are we just crying because we share a mutual adversary or are we crying because we are lending our voice to the man in front? i worry.

i worry that on the 9th of march, or the 10th, or the 11th, people will lose interest. i worry that once the supposedly new operating system of bn is released, that everyone trudges back into normalcy and accept a life where programs hang and documents disappear. i don't want to be a fairweather lover of malaysia. it's very fashionable now to say you want to stand up for justice and equality. the real test happens on ground zero every day for four years after the 8th of march. i don't want to give anwar ibrahim my hosanna today and then curse him next year. if i give you my hosanna, i really give you my hosanna.

i know we're all excited about tomorrow. but herein lies my personal commitment: to be excited about tomorrow's tomorrow.

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Genusfrog [ 2:33 pm ]


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