Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.


On identity
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.

On Christianity
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.

On dreams
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.


On melancholy
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.

On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.

On language
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.

On politics
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?

On society
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.

On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.

On philosophy
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?

On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.


Thursday, February 21, 2008

I told boon ping this chinese new year that i wasn't interested in seeing any old friends if they were gonna meet in big groups.

that's true. all my old high school friends meet every chinese new year at a particular house. it's an open house concept, and all the old boys are pretty much welcome. but i've been to a couple of them and i really don't like it at all. to begin with, everyone's really more interested in gambling and drinking than in catching up. but i've observed something else about old friends.

when they have the security of a big group, they're quite willing to remain cliches. they drink, talk loudly, smoke, gamble, and make very superficial conversation. but if you can isolate them - get them out in small groups of twos or threes, a different side of them crawls out. the side that knew you shows up - the side you knew. and all the pretenses fall away surprisingly quick.

this chinese new year, i met up with boon ping, then again with him plus glendon and bernard. in the isolation of a small group, it felt every bit like a reunion seven, eight, nine years ago. you don't really feel that it's been ten years since we left school. a bit like going into the same car after a week of not driving, starting it up and the same song continues playing on the cd player at the exact spot where you last ground to a halt.

right now, i'm thinking, maybe you can only get to that stage if you've spent something like five to ten years together. maybe that kind of quick restart needs a lengthy foundation period. i can't seem to recreate that with more recent friends. either that or maybe it boils down again to what i set out to say - people just need to be isolated before their true selves emerge.

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Genusfrog [ 1:33 pm ]


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