Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.


On identity
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.

On Christianity
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.

On dreams
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.


On melancholy
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.

On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.

On language
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.

On politics
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?

On society
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.

On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.

On philosophy
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?

On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.


Monday, January 14, 2008

People always want to the best for themselves.

they want their kids in the best schools. they want to drive the best cars available. they want the best jobs. the best opportunities. the best deals.

for some things, i can see the reasoning behind it. if i'm gonna buy a copy of the raveonettes' new album, i'd like to buy it at the best price available. there's no qualitative difference between picking up the same record for RM10 and S$23. but most of the time, when we hear people say that they want the best, they're not talking about simple things like the best price for the same thing.

they're talking about best complicated, subjective things. best school. best tv. best job. in short, the best lifestyle, or godforbid, the best life. but do we really know what the best life is? are we only taking stabs in the dark because what we think is the best is actually what everyone else thinks is the best? how do you really quantify what is the best kind of life for anyone?

and while i'm on this, how do you really know if what the best is for someone else is also the best for you? if we're all created unequally, and that some of us are better at some things than others, and we all like different things, then surely, something has to be wrong when all of us are chasing after the same idea of the best life. one of us has to be wrong.

i'm really sure now that the best thing for me is almost necessarily different from the best thing for someone else. because i'm not someone else. and if there is even such a thing as "best", then mine is out there, shaped uniquely for me to meet who i am. it doesn't have to be "the best". it just needs to be the best for me.

but really, i want to go another step further and say that a culture, a community that is always going after the best for themselves is a community that will eventually consume itself. it is cannibalistic and cannot sustain any semblance of charity and goodwill to others. i'm writing now as a christian - perhaps also to christians. seriously. if you always get the best, it means that your neighbour is always getting second best. and i don't want that for my neighbour.

i don't want to always get the best. if there is such a thing as "the best", i'd like for us all to get a scoop of it every once in a while. i want to sometimes take second or third of fourth best, sometimes take the worst just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. it must feel like shit to always come in last. why should anyone have to always feel like that?

no, i don't want the best school for my kids. i don't need the best tv for my house. and i don't need the best the world has to offer for myself. i have my own tastebuds and they're personally refined enough for me to ask for the ordinary things that i love. show me that and i'll show you a fulfilled life.

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Genusfrog [ 10:18 am ]


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