BLOGGER



Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.


MAIN THEMES

On identity
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.

On Christianity
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.

On dreams
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.


OTHER THEMES

On melancholy
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.

On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.

On language
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.

On politics
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?

On society
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.

On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.

On philosophy
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?

On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.


CHAT





Tuesday, December 18, 2007
CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS

They start now.

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Genusfrog [ 4:35 pm ] | 0 comments

Monday, December 17, 2007
CAN'T MOVE

My gears are stuck again.

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Genusfrog [ 5:46 pm ] | 0 comments

Sunday, December 16, 2007
HORROR FILM

One of the useful things about studying film is that you know how to plot the narrative flow of movies. how this is useful in my day-to-day life escapes me. but not today. today, i know for sure that my day looks like a horror film.

no, my last 20 hours was not composed of vengeful ghosts, psycho killers, zombies or vampires or stupid good-looking girls who investigate haunted houses in their underwear. and much to my appreciation as well. genre theorists call these things the semantics of a film – the vocabulary of it, so to speak. no, my day was not like a horror film in this sense.

it was like a horror film structurally. genre theorists call this the syntax of a film – it’s grammar. ah yes. my day – what a day. just like a very, very bad tale of terror.

here’s what a typical horror film looks like.

1. idyllic peace or forthcoming goodtimes pervades
2. aforementioned peace or goodtimes interrupted by the onset of horror
3. horror escalates in stages
4. horror quietness slighty
5. only to explode into mega ultra outpouring of evil
6. horror subsides after cataclysmic encounter, suggesting impending resolution
7. but is interrupted by very brief resurgence of horror. end.

here is a graph of how my day went.



here is a graph of how my day went, plot against how a typical horror film looks like.



well, at least the weekend’s over. and now i got a week ahead of me; a week that can still pan out in a variety of ways. of course, if i had it my way, the coming week would look like this:

monday: romantic comedy
tuesday: road movie
wednesday: feelgood indie flick
thursdsay: musical
friday: nature documentary
saturday: costume drama
sunday: slapstick comedy

i don’t need sweeping sagas, i don’t want estrogeneous chickflicks and i certainly don’t want war films. just show me seven days of good syntax and i’ll show you a merry christmas.

fin

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Genusfrog [ 11:55 pm ] | 0 comments

STUPID

This is so stupid.

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Genusfrog [ 3:53 pm ] | 0 comments

Saturday, December 15, 2007
MISSED A LINE

You missed a line, I missed a song, what's the difference?

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Genusfrog [ 9:00 pm ] | 0 comments

Friday, December 14, 2007
SONDRE LERCHE

Who's he and is he as good as cantonese fried?

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Genusfrog [ 9:56 am ] | 0 comments

Thursday, December 13, 2007
NEXT TIME

It shouldn't be too different from this.

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Genusfrog [ 11:03 pm ] | 0 comments

Wednesday, December 12, 2007
OPEN LETTER TO CHELSEA LY NG ON HER ENDORSEMENT OF THE ISA

Local journalist for The Star, Chelsea Ng, wrote on Monday that our judiciary's leaving the dogs and headed for greener pastures. Towards the end of her story, though, she gives her personal thumbs up to the Internal Security Act. Here's an open letter to her.

Dear Chelsea,

I read your comment in Monday's papers, on your sunshine view of our judicial reforms. I'll come right off the bat and say that your story is cringe-worthy, and definitely shocking.

While your calm response to accelerated promotions in the justice system begs a raised brow (and your comment that "we should not be too troubled" because "many thought that both these top two judges were the best choice" begs for a whole lot more before it qualifies as credible commentary), it is your comment on the ISA that is most offensive.

I shall quote you on that. Talking about a former judge who endorsed the ISA, you said:

"How true. It may be a draconian legislation but it is sometimes necessary to bring peace and stability to a country during trying times."

Are these really your comments? Or are you toeing the party line on this? That paragraph, even when taken in context, is not only journalistically flimsy - which is the least of my worries now - it is morally hypocritical and it is on this platform where your story offends Malaysians.

It is shameful for you to be a card-carrying member of democracy, use that democracy to earn a living by expressing your views in the papers, and use that same democracy to endorse an Act that strips the democracy from some of your fellow citizens.

It is shameful for you to write a commentary about the increasing health of judiciary, and in the same story, endorse an Act that imprisons your people with no trial, no phonecall and no prospect of legal process.

It is shameful for you to sit in the comfort of your desk, steady employ and middle-class life and endorse an Act that right now detains Malaysian men and women in 3 square-foot cells with no sanitation, no clothes, no light and the constant threat of beating and rape.

Easy for you to say, Chelsea. It's so easy to endorse injustice when it's your neighbour and not you whose life is being torn down. It's so easy to get behind a word processor and say cushy things like "necessary to bring peace" and assume that peace should come by any means, including violence and injustice. And it's extra, extra embarrasing for a Malaysian to stamp that approval in the papers for the whole country to read.

I am ashamed for you. I am half-hoping that you were just toeing the party line when you wrote this piece because as undignified as it is to say something you don't mean, I sincerely believe it is the lesser indignity when compared to actually endorsing the ISA.

I hope you reply this email because I believe that journalists should be held accountable for their opinions.


with heartfelt regret,
Fergus Ong


You can email Chelsea at Chelsea@thestar.com.my

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Genusfrog [ 11:32 am ] | 0 comments

GIVE US MILAN

I very rarely comment on football here. that footballing crazy side of me is perhaps the one side that doesn't come on at all on this blog. my allegiances are strong. my fandom is fanatical. and today, in the capacity of a liverpool fan, i want to say one thing.

give us milan.

we've made it to the next round. we've finished second and so we're staring down the laundry list of europe's best. but i say, give us milan. put them on a plate and serve them up across two legs. sure, there's likely to be an easier tie somewhere - sevilla is still a possibility. but where's the fun in an easier tie? i say, give us two games with the rossoneri, and we'll give the world a spectacle.

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Genusfrog [ 9:32 am ] | 0 comments

MAYBE NEXT YEAR

I just never got round to doing it.

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Genusfrog [ 9:02 am ] | 0 comments

Tuesday, December 11, 2007
HOLIDAY

Man, what a bad day.

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Genusfrog [ 4:53 pm ] | 0 comments

Monday, December 10, 2007
I HAVE NO IDEA

Do you?

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Genusfrog [ 6:05 pm ] | 0 comments

Sunday, December 09, 2007
STUPID REF

You've rigged it haven't you?

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Genusfrog [ 3:03 am ] | 0 comments

Saturday, December 08, 2007
IT' ALL HAUNTED

Hahahahahhaa!!!!

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Genusfrog [ 3:06 pm ] | 0 comments

Friday, December 07, 2007
NO MAGIC TECHNIQUE

You got the wrong guy.

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Genusfrog [ 6:10 pm ] | 0 comments

CONCERNING A BAD DREAM ON INDIAN MYSTICS AND A DISMEMBERED HEAD

I was in a room, a common room, and there were lots of people, sitting rows of tables. everyone was happy, and they were talking, and it was noisy. and then, it all fell quiet. an uneasy silence struck the room. an indian mystic had walked in. he was tall, wearing what must have been a grey/blue robe, though i didn't see his face. he was carrying a dismembered head.

as he walked from table to table, i knew the people were afraid of him. this wasn't the first time he'd made an entry, i could tell. behind the mystic were two other subordinates, who followed him wherever he went and chanted and performed rituals. the mystic went to the tables and put the dismembered head down, and did his rites. the people were afraid of it. nobody dared to leave.

i was there with ernest. the mystic reached my table and started performing his rites with the head in front of us. i remember ernest looking up at the mystic and begging him not to do it. i remember standing up, stretching my hand out and praying.

i prayed until i woke up and found myself really praying in real life.

i've been having disturbing, occultic dreams recently. it's starting to get a bit worrying. looks like i gotta keep being guarded.

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Genusfrog [ 9:54 am ] | 0 comments

Thursday, December 06, 2007
I JUST WANT TODAY TO BE OVER
Go home, put my head down, pray a bit and sleep - let it all drain.

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Genusfrog [ 5:57 pm ] | 0 comments

Wednesday, December 05, 2007
3 JANUARY 1959

Listening to it now reminds me of that date.

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Genusfrog [ 3:31 pm ] | 0 comments

Tuesday, December 04, 2007
THE CHEEK

Sometimes, you gotta turn the other cheek and say "how many more do you want?"

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Genusfrog [ 3:29 pm ] | 0 comments

Monday, December 03, 2007
ATLAS AND JESUS

Atlas and Jesus both had heavy loads. one bore the world and the other its sins. both are often pictured hunched, burdened by the weight on their shoulders.

but that's about it. atlas, in all his celestial splendour, looks nothing like the jesus who was disfigured and "marred beyond human likeness". atlas isn't going anywhere with the load on his back- he just seems to stand there, keeping everything afloat. but jesus is going somewhere. he is stumbling forward with his cross because he has a destination. and while both carried their respective weights as punishment, something tells me that only one of them was carrying it out of love.

i've been carrying a load on my back this whole year. it's not been fun. sometimes, i feel a bit like both atlas and jesus: the atlas bit is the bit where he goes nowhere with his burden, holding up the responsibility of his own actions; the jesus part is the bit about being marred beyond recognition. some days, my spirit feels marred like that.

but after twelve months of weightlifting, it's definitely been too much atlas and too little jesus. and the operative difference here is that there is no love in the hoisting of my self-imposed yoke. at some point, i fell out of love and it's felt every bit like zeus telling me to go stand in a corner since.

there ought to be love.

there ought to be a lot more love than this.

and there's much to be hopeful if it's a cross i'm carrying and not the celestial heavens. i'm dreading the bit where i get nailed to my cross and spat at but that's the only way to get the bad shit out of the way before the better days roll back in. as for atlas, man, i don't wanna be standing around forever.

not like that, geddit? not like that.

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Genusfrog [ 11:17 am ] | 0 comments

I LIKE BREAD

Honey!

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Genusfrog [ 10:27 am ] | 0 comments

Sunday, December 02, 2007
STORE BOUGHT

There are too many among us.

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Genusfrog [ 11:26 pm ] | 0 comments

Saturday, December 01, 2007
MORNING

I shouldn't have been there.

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Genusfrog [ 12:42 pm ] | 0 comments