Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.
On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.
On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?
On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
To my leaders
if you want me to be transparent
i'll need something from you first.
i'll need you to get to know me. i know you want to know me, to know the transparent parts. the hidden parts. the juicy parts. i know you want me to confess to you all the remorse and sorrow and hurt and guilt and hopes and fears and lust and greed and deception and vulnerability and ambition.
but i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. i know i've not been faithful with the small things. i need to work on that. and i'll need you to get to know me starting from the small things too. you'll need to know who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes. what i love about football and beer and buddies. whether or not i'm a nightbird these days. do i like coffee? what would i eat for breakfast? what would i do with a million bucks? or an extra thousand. right now.
and i'll let you know me. i'm not hard to get to know. those who have tried found me. and then some people never really tried. i want you to know me. and i want to know you. but i won't make myself transparent for you to observe if you're not yet observing me while i'm still opaque. don't mind me. it's a trust thing.
from now on, i'll only trust someone with my secret side if they bother to know the easy things.
Labels: friendship, identity
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