Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.
On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.
On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?
On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.
Monday, July 30, 2007
NO MAN'S LAND
I can't find you in the bible. i can't find you in church. i can't find you in the clergy and i sure can't find you in the members. i can't find you in cell and i can't find you in leaders. you're not there in ministry. you're not there on the streets. i can't hear you in the loudest roar and i can't hear you in pindrop silence. you're not in the halls or corridors or meeting rooms.
you're not here in my room. you're not there at my desk. you're not in my car, on the road or in carparks. you're not there in the daytime, though sometimes i think you're there at night. but you're not anywhere else.
i searched for you online but you're not logged on. you're not on gtalk or youtube or blogger. you're not at the pantry and you're not there at lunch. you're not in the consistency of best friends, the adoration of a girlfriend, in the security of the old or the excitement of the new. you're not at the pictures, in dvds, on a notebook or in an itunes playlist.
i thought light was where you were but i didn't see you. i thought darkness was where you worked, but i couldn't find you. you're not in poetry or prose or diagrams. you're not there in crowds. you're not here in solitude. where are you? at some worship concert? a prayer meeting? a bible study? at a barbecue? they told me you were omnipresent. you're can't be in theology, can you? or apologetics. what about the downtrodden? i didn't quite hear you among the addicts. maybe i missed you among the homeless.
i know you're not on tv. or radio. or the papers. or magazines. you're not at the mall. or in food courts. you're not in fashion. i couldn't find you in band tees. or striped shirts. or anywhere else in my closet. you're not in my laundry. or hanging on the bathroom hooks. you're not in the mirror when i look into it. you're not there when it looks back.
i am godless. i started searching too late and i've stopped searching too early. you're an exiled king. and i am no man's land.
Labels: christianity, defeat
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