Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.
On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.
On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?
On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
THE LITTLE SOLDIER
Forgive me father, for i have sinned. (actually, i'm not sure if it's a sin.)
i was labelling all my old posts when i realised how long it had been since i last posted anything remotely pertaining to god and christianity. december 22 would be the last time. i posted on my irrational fear of the wrath of god. what a way to go.
which of course begs the question, is there something wrong when a blog of a christian person, with a christian title no less, fails to actively engage the blockbuster main event of that very christianity? for six months. if i blog about the things that are relevant to where i am - friends, growing up, rueful rabbits - is it fair then to say that god has lost his place in my life?
i don't want to be a christian who runs through the motions. i also don't want to be a christian who bites off more than he can chew. if i've learned anything this year, it's that contrary to the ears of my peers, i don't in fact have such a big mouth. and i can't in fact chomp so far into this christian shepherd pie.
i was at new life last night and i was so inspired when ps lee choo put up pics of kaka in his 'i belong to jesus' tee shirt. i dunno, maybe it's a combination of both the european cup final defeat and my own ebbing faith being put to rest that's conjured some kind of weird affection towards right-sided leanings. i miss wearing my christian heart on my sleeve, coming on here and lambasting and getting riled up and actually, actually being a sod with more than a pipetdrop of passion. i wanna confess again.
screw misery. that's not what i became a christian for.
screw defeat. i'm sick of beating myself with a stick.
and screw cynicism. i want to be a little soldier again.
Labels: christianity, housekeeping
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