Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.
On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.
On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?
On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.
Friday, May 25, 2007
THIS IS ERNEST
Fergus: Dude, are you the kind who will have issues turning 30?
Ernest: Yes dude. major issues
Fergus: But that's so ironic. Cos you're so young at heart. But then the numbers still matter.
This is ernest. he's my big brother. he's always been that bit smarter than me, and i've been saved many times for it. when i was growing up, i always wanted to be his twin. and when we were in india, people thought we were twins by calling us "two in one". i liked that. because after that i grew really fat and we were never mistaken for twins again.
yesterday, i took leave and we went cinema hopping. we saw about half an hour of four different movies while evading the dangerous gsc staff and cleaning ladies. it was probably the most fun i've ever had at the movies.
ernest is a hard guy to pin down because he's very mainstream in some ways but he's also anything but ordinary. i don't know of anyone else who actively votes for multiple akademi fantasia contestants and also knows so much about copernicus and medieval cathedral architecture. i always think that only a very self-assured person can straddle both extreme ends of culture and do it so comfortably. to me, ernest is that kind of person.
he's also one of the most headstrong people i know. when he was 14, he stood his ground against an unreasonable teacher and she couldn't move him. last month, his bosses didn't pay a lot of the staff and he told them that until they paid, he won't show up at the office. he didn't show up until he got paid. i'm so proud of him for these things. i always wish i was brave like that.
but to say that is weird because ernest doesn't like big and heavy serious things. he's young at heart. he has this theory that he is regressing in physical age, and i've been the older brother for a few years now. people still mistake him for being younger sometimes. i think secretly, he likes it.
ernest doesn't like taking photos. so it's hard to find photos of him to put up. yesterday at dinner, he banned posed photography cos he thinks they're fake and spoil the mood. so i think it's apt that i dug out a picture of him that's candid.
yesterday was his birthday. and i had more fun with him than i normally do on my own birthdays.
happy birthday dude.
11:00 am ]