Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.
On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.
On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?
On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Adrian: eh when are you gonna remove the plastic covers off your seatbelt buckles?
Shu yee: dunno lah. i like them.
Adrian: makes you feel like you're still test-driving your car.
Fergus: haahaha. ya. maybe you can test drive your car forever.
You can't test-drive anything forever. after a while, either the bubblewrap needs to come off, and you take it home with you, or you put it back on a shelf.
i wish i could live in a bubblewrapped life, where all the hard-knocks are cushioned and nobody gets hurt. nobody needs to get hurt because nobody's really being owned and used. everyone's just on display, a shop window item that points towards other more real and tangible copies. people would pick us up, hold us against themselves, try us, look at us in the mirror and then bring a store-room copy home to do all the dirty work: the wearing, the using, the washing, the dropping and breaking.
it's a bit dehumanising but that's how i want to be today. i wanna be test-driven. and after mr toad's wild ride grinds to its proverbial halt, i would be restored to my original position without chip or bruise. like that button which restores the factory settings. i wish today that they could restore my factory settings. put me back into bubblewrap and seal the box with new tape.
you can't test-drive forever. after a while, you have to head back to the showroom and go home.
Labels: friendship, melancholy
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