Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.
On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.
On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?
On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
New shoes are nice. i just bought a couple pairs of new shoes because the older two were falling apart. apparently, everything's getting replaced nowadays.
that's the thing about new shoes... they feel really nice in the shop. they look spanking cool and they're quiet, like german cars quiet. but maybe it's this universal prank that the yellow lighting, screwey mirrors and mall air-cond play in unisive cohesion, conspiring so that two days after you walk out with your funky new footwear, they start to shed their original splendour.
take my new adidas shoes, for instance. little did i know that new adidas rubber has this squeaky thing going on so that the more i walk, the more i sound like a four-year-old in one of those shoes that go bip-bip-bip everytime they set their foot down. and it's not even a stepping down thing. when i raise my foot and twist it around inside, it makes that sound. bip-bip-bip.
and my new working shoes - the most comfortable hush puppy in the world - i swore in the store that i could walk forever with this puppy. the left heel... something... what's wrong? it's not like the right heel. it's stiff... and clunky. maybe the leather needs to be worn out. or worn in. maybe i need to give these two shoes more time. be more patient with them and eventually, they'll be as glorious as i originally saw them to be.
i wish friendships weren't so much like new shoes. i wish i could spend forever with my friends in the friends store, deluded forever by the warm lights, wonky mirrors and cool air. we could all be happy trying each other on, fun with the mirror and mounds of shoes. we would always feel nice, look good and sound just right. safe in the comfort of relational commerce, we can put away our insecurities in the name of good humour and a fresh new look. and last year's shoe of the year will forever be the shoe of the year.
my shoes are my shoes. i've bought them. and i love them.
Labels: friendship, melancholy
5:17 pm ]