|
BLOGGER
Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.
MAIN THEMES
On identity i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes. On Christianity I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you. On dreams Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.
OTHER THEMES
On melancholy It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself. On memory and nostalgia It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting. On language I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word. On politics Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for? On society People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last. On growing old Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall. On philosophy I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man? On a daily basis One line quips, like this. CHAT
VISITORS
FEEDS 
ARCHIVE
March 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 July 2005 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 February 2010 June 2010 |
Friday, March 16, 2007
 TRANSIT"Change is the only constant lah!", charlotte said as i quietly contemplated news of one of my favourite editors leaving the office in sydney. "I can't live in a life like that. you know", i said back to her. "i can't live in a life where everything keeps changing". i just can't. it saddens me too much to consider a life that is constantly in flux, forever renewing, eternally pursuing the next better thing. why do we do that? keep changing. i'm really happy for my editor in sydney. she's getting what looks like a really ace job. and fair game to anyone who's getting good gigs lined up for them. some people will say that i've got a pretty good gig lined up myself, and that'd be true. but i just don't take to change so well after all. a few weeks ago, adrian asked me if i was someone who took to change well. at that time, i told him i get excited with change. and while that is true, i can't shake off this insecurity that's tailing me everywhere now that what looked like my golden season in my present office seems to have come to an end. my lunch squad is dissolving. my favourite product was axed. i've changed seats so many times and i don't know anyone's face in this office anymore. some days i think i'm doing okay but if i really face up to it, i think i can say for certain that my happiest days in this office are behind me now. maybe another chapter has closed and i'm just not dealing with the fact that i'm smack in page two of the next storyline. maybe i'm mistaken in my assurance of where i think i am. people around me are moving on. why am i still here? when will i pick my bags up and get out of this one, very long airport holiday? you know when you're in transit, the airport bookstores become your best friend. there's something familiar in all bookstores: road maps, travel guide books, coffee table pictorials... there's something reassuring about seeing all these same things no matter which airport bookstore in whatever country you're in. but my transit is not in an airport and there is no bookstore with all that familiar paraphernalia to remind me that some things always stay the same. Labels: growing old, identity, melancholy Genusfrog [
1:48 pm ]
 
|
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home