Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.
On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.
On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?
On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
The other day, mel told me about how she saw a flasher hanging around near where she worked, and how she thinks she saw him flash. Just now, i was thinking to myself, what would i do to this guy if i was there at the time?
And then it happened - like those badass guys from sin city, i saw myself exacting horrendous punishment on this guy. sure, unlike those guys, i'm nowhere near being as big as a truck, but i sure as hell felt like it. and i wanted so much to bash this flasher guy up. i wanted to break his nose so bad, he would have to walk the remainder of his days with a hole in his face. i wanted to stomp on his groin so bad, he would just literally die of the pain. i just wanted to pound him into an unrecognisable form. and every day, when he sees himself in the mirror, his disfigurement would remind him of the day he decided to pull his dick out in public.
I caught myself in those thoughts. i realised how cruel and how utterly violent i was becoming. not just violent but wrathful. not just wrathful but vengeful. and i knew in that one instant, i was full of hate - like absolutely FULL of pure, unadulterated glistening hate for this guy. and i'm so filled with mixed feelings.
The Christian in me immediately knew it was wrong. who am i to consider bashing up a man whom God loves? sure, i bet God isn't impressed with his perversion but God still loves the person and if i gave him a really good whacking - the kind described above - each blow would be like breaking Jesus' nose. not just that, but i too am a sinner. a sinner beyond your imagination, so who am i to judge this man? just because his sins are so public, does that necessarily open him up to more justifiable judgment?
But all the while, running parrallel to these thoughts is this: this guy is a sex deviant. there is no way i'm gonna let him flash at my girlfriend without smashing his face in the name of civic propriety. anyone who's got any standards of decency will not tolerate flashers. in fact, on a purely practical and behavioural level, all these flashers need to be messed up so bad they will have no choice but to negatively associate their public indecency with a really solid rearrangement of their faces.
The man is a sex deviant. i keep telling myself that. you can't let these guys off easily. i know a few girls who let off some flashers really easily. they just laugh and skip along the footpath. their response was so tame, it scares me. no, it angers me that any girl who has just been flashed can respond so apathetically. and then they go cry bloody murder whenever there's a rapist in a carpark. some things are just not acceptable. and this is just one of them. and if i were to ever catch a guy pulling out his pieces at my girlfriend, God have mercy on the both of us, because it's gonna be one long night of repentance lying ahead of me, and reconstructive surgery lying ahead of him.
The bible says that one of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control. i ashamedly confess that i have very little self-control in this respect. and if i ever catch that flasher doing his thing, i will bash him up so bad, it might just kill him.
Labels: christianity, society, violence
12:30 am ]