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Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.


MAIN THEMES

On identity
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.

On Christianity
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.

On dreams
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.


OTHER THEMES

On melancholy
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.

On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.

On language
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.

On politics
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?

On society
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.

On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.

On philosophy
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?

On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.


CHAT





Thursday, November 23, 2006
The other day, mel told me about how she saw a flasher hanging around near where she worked, and how she thinks she saw him flash. Just now, i was thinking to myself, what would i do to this guy if i was there at the time?

And then it happened - like those badass guys from sin city, i saw myself exacting horrendous punishment on this guy. sure, unlike those guys, i'm nowhere near being as big as a truck, but i sure as hell felt like it. and i wanted so much to bash this flasher guy up. i wanted to break his nose so bad, he would have to walk the remainder of his days with a hole in his face. i wanted to stomp on his groin so bad, he would just literally die of the pain. i just wanted to pound him into an unrecognisable form. and every day, when he sees himself in the mirror, his disfigurement would remind him of the day he decided to pull his dick out in public.

I caught myself in those thoughts. i realised how cruel and how utterly violent i was becoming. not just violent but wrathful. not just wrathful but vengeful. and i knew in that one instant, i was full of hate - like absolutely FULL of pure, unadulterated glistening hate for this guy. and i'm so filled with mixed feelings.

The Christian in me immediately knew it was wrong. who am i to consider bashing up a man whom God loves? sure, i bet God isn't impressed with his perversion but God still loves the person and if i gave him a really good whacking - the kind described above - each blow would be like breaking Jesus' nose. not just that, but i too am a sinner. a sinner beyond your imagination, so who am i to judge this man? just because his sins are so public, does that necessarily open him up to more justifiable judgment?

But all the while, running parrallel to these thoughts is this: this guy is a sex deviant. there is no way i'm gonna let him flash at my girlfriend without smashing his face in the name of civic propriety. anyone who's got any standards of decency will not tolerate flashers. in fact, on a purely practical and behavioural level, all these flashers need to be messed up so bad they will have no choice but to negatively associate their public indecency with a really solid rearrangement of their faces.

The man is a sex deviant. i keep telling myself that. you can't let these guys off easily. i know a few girls who let off some flashers really easily. they just laugh and skip along the footpath. their response was so tame, it scares me. no, it angers me that any girl who has just been flashed can respond so apathetically. and then they go cry bloody murder whenever there's a rapist in a carpark. some things are just not acceptable. and this is just one of them. and if i were to ever catch a guy pulling out his pieces at my girlfriend, God have mercy on the both of us, because it's gonna be one long night of repentance lying ahead of me, and reconstructive surgery lying ahead of him.

The bible says that one of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control. i ashamedly confess that i have very little self-control in this respect. and if i ever catch that flasher doing his thing, i will bash him up so bad, it might just kill him.

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Genusfrog [ 12:30 am ]

11 Comments:

  • but u know why some girls laugh at the flashers? a long time ago i read in the papers about what these flashers want. they want to shock and scare you. they want you to scream. so to counter that, the advice given was actually to laugh hard at them. the kind of ridicule laugh which says "what, you call THAT a dick???" . apparently girls who did that made the flashers run away in embarrassment.

    that's what i read la...

    By Anonymous chingz, at 6:10 pm  

  • Ya, i know about that too. but they laugh when they retell the story as well. and they seem totally unaffected. and these girls experienced it... like, in the same day where they laugh and narrated it to me. that's what i find unacceptable. they told the story like it was funny and amusing.

    By Anonymous Fergus, at 5:22 am  

  • im trying to think back and see if i laughed when i recounted to my friends the story of this old indian man in a bus in melacca about 5-6 years back, who sat opposite us and flipped out his little friend and played with it while trying to get my friend and me to notice him.

    HMM.

    OKAY. nupe. didn't laugh. not funny. stupid old man. :(

    By Anonymous chingz, at 11:25 am  

  • Hahahahahhaaa!!!! Now that's funny!

    seriously? sitting opposite you and he pulled himself out? no way! no waynowaynoway! what's wrong with our country??? or is it malacca? or is it old indian men in busses? wow... so what la, y'all do? just sit there and look out of the window meh?

    By Anonymous Fergs, at 3:01 pm  

  • Once in NZ, I was walking home from class and there was this car parked along the side of the road with the windows down. Then I happened to look in and there was this dirty old bastard wanking off. Can some more look at me and smile. I called the cops. But he drove off just before they got there. Damnit.

    Wasn't funny. I felt like chopping his little buddy off. Like hacking it into miserable little pieces and feeding it to the fishes in the ocean. No, on second thoughts, I wanted to burn those little miserable pieces into ashes and then flush it down the toilet bowl. The stupid thing was, when I told my friends, they laughed. Yeesh.

    By Anonymous eevon, at 8:03 am  

  • Back when I was staying in a student house in Subang, there was this serial flasher running around the back alleys of our house [which held something like 13 girls], trying to you-know-what lah.

    My housemate boiled water, waited and threw it at him and he screamed and ran.

    Didn't stop him from stealing our 'laundry' hanging outside though:(

    Idiots.

    By Anonymous jaz, at 8:33 pm  

  • wahliao. underwear thief ah? crazy man. subang must be a very repressed suburb.

    eevon, you realise if you want to burn his little pieces and do whatever with them right, you have to establish like, hand contact with it?

    By Anonymous Fergs, at 4:24 am  

  • YUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!

    AARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

    All these people should go into the GIANT HUMAN BLENDER!!!

    By Anonymous eevon, at 7:42 am  

  • Your post is for all repressed perverse encounters...
    I met this Indian guy once, all fat, sweaty, hairy and with a gold chain I think, who came up to me while I was doing flag day, and asked if I had any tissue, so that he could wank off.
    I looked at him and was like what?
    And he repeated himself. He said that his girlfriend left him, and he has his needs to fulfill.
    So I promptly told him about Jesus. I can't remember what I said, but I think I passed him the church bulletin to call for the hotline. Don't know if he ever did.

    By Anonymous oomoo, at 5:41 am  

  • oh eevon i had a similiar experience too. a guy in a WV was driving around real slow when my friend and i were walking in some housing area (malacca again!), and then he stopped somewhere under the trees.. and when we walked past him, his window was rolled down and the car was uh, shaking, and there was a bit of uh, panting. @_@ i didn't dare to look and tried to carry on a conversation with my friend and the thing is i can't even remember what i talked to her about.

    and oh when i was in secondary school, walking back from tuition, a malay guy on a motorbike was cruising back and forth the road, then suddenly he stopped beside me and said "Do you want fuck?" and i was like ???? (strangely enough i even thought about how his grammar was all wrong... wth!?!?!!? lol). anyway i didn't know what to do so i shouted out my friend's name (they were all on bicycles and i was the only one on foot... blardee...), and he rode over to her and asked her the same thing. we didn't know how to respond, but thank God he rode away after that.

    jaz, i wish i could carry hot water everywhere. ~_~

    wow girls... we can start a support group here.. hehe

    By Anonymous chingz, at 6:24 pm  

  • GCB: My name is fergus. And i've seen two flashers in my life.
    Group: Hi fergus.
    Chingz: Don't be scared fergus. We're all here to support you.
    GCB: Thanks ma'am.
    Chingz: Now, tell us about your first experience.

    GCB breaks down and cries.

    Eevon: We've all been down that road, fergus.
    00moo: Yeah man. Pray and ask for strength.

    GCB gathers himself.

    Chingz: Come on now...
    GCB: I was... I was... I can't go on. I just can't!
    Chingz: It's ok. Would someone else like to start?
    Eevon: I'll start.

    By Anonymous Fergs, at 4:50 pm  

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