BLOGGER



Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.


MAIN THEMES

On identity
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.

On Christianity
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.

On dreams
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.


OTHER THEMES

On melancholy
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.

On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.

On language
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.

On politics
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?

On society
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.

On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.

On philosophy
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?

On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.


CHAT





Tuesday, August 29, 2006
What am i doing?

Am i trying to alienate everybody around me? Am i trying to make enemies out of friends? Have i gone crazy?

Look at the last post. What the hell is it all about? Jerry Springer?

Today, i committed PR suicide in my office with one email. You should see what some people wrote back to me saying. I swear, your hair will stand.

Vernon said this weekend that i've become more aggressive. he said it after i told him about how i stared down a bunch of teenage girls who sat behind me in church because they were talking during the announcements.

You know, up until the last few days, i always considered myself someone hard to dislike - i don't give people much room to form unpleasant opinions of me. but now, boy, i've just enlarged myself into the most biggest jerk in the world.

Am i going crazy? I swear, i stand by EVERYTHING i've done. i stand by my testimony below and my sharing of it, i stand by the email i wrote to my office and i stand by my response to those horrible girls.

Or maybe i need to show more grace. You know, if you use alta vista's babelfish translator, and you translate the word "bastard" into german and back into english, you get "hybrid". i swear, alta vista's babelfish translator shows a lot of grace.

But i don't think i'm that kind of a hybrid. i think i've become a good old fashioned bastard, in the worst sense of the word.

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Genusfrog [ 12:39 pm ]

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