Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.
On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.
On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?
On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.
Friday, April 14, 2006
I'm very curious about my neighbours. this is the first fully apartment style house i've ever lived in, and it makes me very curious about the people who dwell around me.
take for instance the neighbour diagonally opposite me. every night, when i come in, as i unlock my door, someone from that house opens their door, checks who's outside, and then closes it again. it happens almost on a nightly basis. how strange.
and the folks directly opposite me. this bunch of ladies seem to have no faculty for greeting people. one morning, as i left my house, they were leaving too. i looked up from the bunch of keys and said "good morning", but they just looked at me weird and left without a word.
what's wrong with these people? do i look like some child murderer slash gang rapist slash pickpocket slash snatch thief? or maybe they're all hiding something. maybe my neighbourhood is the best kept secret hole of the worlds most secret moles.
which put me in ginger state when, late last night, i realised that i left my handphone at mel's house. without a payphone in the 248km vicinity, there was really no way to warn her that at 7.15 tomorrow morning, my phone alarm was gonna go off like a baby with a bumfull of oatmeal, and that it would probably wake her folks up, scare her granny and even after someone switches the alarm off, it would continue to blast off every 9 minutes for the next half an hour. i needed to get her on the line.
cue the friendly neighbours. i could absolutely rule out knocking on doors because (a) it was late, and (b) door knockers are always up to no good. so on i go, down the lift, to see if there's anyone in the car park. actually, i meant to walk to the security guard post at the boom gate, and ask them for a call, but i figured that if i met friendly neighbours along the way, that i might try them instead.
so it proved good news when i enter the lift with a couple. short of large groups, couples are the next best people to approach. no gooders target lonely individuals, so anyone who asks a couple for help has to mean it. i proceed to ask them if they can lend me a phone, to make the shortest of short phonecalls. i had a one ringgit compensation note in my pocket just in case. and they were nice, surprise of the night. the guy didn't want to look at me, but the girl was friendly, but said that neither of them had their phones on them at the time. she even apologised.
Sidetrack: this is not the first time that i've encountered couples where the guys refuse to look at me but the girl is friendly. what's up with all these guys? hey, if i talk to both of you, and if you think i'm up to no good, you're probably better of sussing me out than looking away while your girlfriend does the polite thing and talk. what a bunch of anti-social losers.
i reach the car park. i'm walking to the entrance, towards the guard house. then i see this guy leaving his car for the lift. chinese man, alone, reasonably sized. i figured: he won't think i'm some quack out to snatch his phone. so i try.
"Excuse me, can i borrow your phone"
"Err... (and excuse my lack of pinyin) ker yi jie ni de phone mah?"
He doesn't say anything, and gives me the meanest look i've ever been given.
"Ying wei, bla bla bla..." and i won't go on because my mandrin is bad enough when spoken, it's even worse when transcribed.
He still gives me a badass look, fishes out his phone and hands it to me. i wanted to assure him i wasn't a phone-snatcher. i'd told him i lived upstairs, and even offered him to hold my keys as insurance (hey, i'd hold someone's keys if i lent them my phone. every other person's a snatch thief nowadays). still, with the most vicious of snarls, he waves away my offer and hands me the phone.
i hurriedly press mel's numbers, and then it hits me. i don't know what's the call button on his phone. i press the top left button out of common sense, but a menu pops up, full of chinese words. i panic, ask him for assistance, and he completes the call for me. i didn't dare to look at his face anymore.
Sidetrack: his wallpaper was some AEC type of taiwanese variety show host girl. i wasn't convinced that it was his girlfriend. (for dodgily reproduced approximation with ms paint, scroll up)
"Heyo, it's me", i start. "Hey, i left my phone at your house. Just to warn you that the alarm is still on, so you'll have to disable it. ... ya .... but even if you turn it off, the alarm still rings, so you'll have to turn off the alarm ... ok ... i'm using my neighbour's phone ... ok. bye".
and i take a longer route back up another lift just to avoid an awkward lift ride up with this most kind, least friendly neighbour.
love them? hahah... i say stay clear of them.
10:05 am ]