Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.
On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.
On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?
On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Question 1: What is the best praise you’ve ever received?
One time, I got nominated for something. And the person who nominated me, in supporting his nomination, said that I was well-versed, helpful and an effective problem solver, among lots of other things. Hearing all that made me swell up with the most amazing pride.
Question 2: What is your dream praise, and from who?
Maybe to hear my dad say that I’ve made it as a man.
It’s incredible what praise can do. Especially if, like me, you’ve battled the years of low self esteem. To hear a fellow person say great things about you is already nice. Praises rock the houses down.
But recently I’ve run into some bible verses that have put things into perspective. In John 5, Jesus says that he doesn’t need the testimony of man – he’s only after the testimony of the Father. And we know that Paul, in Philippians 3:8, considers all the achievements of man “rubbish” compared to gaining Christ.
Which made me wonder: if the praises in Q1 and Q2 mean so much to me, why doesn't the praise of God seem anywhere as important? Is it just because i can't physically hear it? Am I shallow? or crazy? or unbelieving? Or is it a common fact of life?
I think everyone is like me. I think maybe because nobody cares about God's applause, it makes him sad.
Labels: dreams, gender, identity
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