Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.
On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.
On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?
On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Some itches, you scratch. some itches, it's a bit hard to scratch. like, if i had an itch for goreng pisang, it would be quite easy for me to go out, find a warong down the road and scratch that itch with two ringgit. but when the itch comes in the form of a G4 ibook, whipping out those long nails is a bit more complicated than you think.
people always talk about mac converts. they talk about it like christianity. but i won't really call myself a mac convert. not least of all also because i use a pc at work, but also because i'm essentially a desktop guy and my desktop at home is, of course, a pc. the only macs i've ever used were in church. so, why mac? i'm just a himbo with some money, right? haha!
i wanna do video editing, that's why! i recently covered dan and grace's wedding, and if this research proposal gets picked up, i'll probably be shooting a documentary with jan as well. in the course of just one month, that's quite a lot of post-production that needs to be done. and all this doesn't even take into account that Capital A, my long-since-canned short film, has also never seen the light of an editing suite.
i've been advised by my chief mac-man eric that the ram needs to be boosted to 1 gig and a separate harddisk obtained. i kinda figured. it is, after all, video editing. but i guess that's nothing that can't be worked out, pending of course a well-planned loan-of-sorts.
but why mac? am i only going to do video editing on this piece of thing? well, no. since SIB went wi-fi, our church has seen lots of notebooks popping up from out of everywhere. always one to pick out good bandwagons to jump on, i'm now inclined to take this leap of craving, if not faith.
i've also been keeping an eye on the stats of this place and the hits have been plunging. but i know why it's been happening. for starters, i've not been posting quite as frequently as i used to. nobody likes to return to an unmaintained blog. also, of course. i've been posting on some pretty wanky topics that i think even my regulars don't bother reading. don't get me wrong, i'm very commited to posting on the relevance of christ to contemporary culture, and if philosophers find their way in, they find their way in. and lastly, i apologise that i haven't been visiting peoples' blogs significantly. and when you don't hit, you don't get hit.
now, cease wondering why i'm housekeeping midway through a post on buying an ibook. here's why. how often have i been caught out, blog idea in mind but little other than a napkin and a waiter's ballpen to compose a properly thought out piece! no. but i'm convinced that if and when i do buy my book, this place, which i love, will be much better maintained. my wanky pieces on scientific, communist and christian revolutions will probably be interspersed at greater proximity with lighter hearted accounts of pink umbrellas and flying faecal spores. and i'll definitely drop by more often.
besides, it looks cool. (not consistent blogging, i'm talking about the ibook!) it looks very cool, and the vain boy in me (there is one, i confess!) longs to prowl the streets of PJ with one of these sweet things hanging off my arm. and using macs is cool. i don't know what kind of bizarre social custom it is, or a perverse cultural impression, but using macs is cool. only cool people use macs. if you get into a conversation with a group of people, and you find out that one of them uses macs, you'd likely think "this person is different. this person is cool".
but alas! for all the vanity, and all the improved-blogging rituals, and even for all the video editing, i admit that the best part of me doesn't know why i want it. i just want it. and as my flesh yearns to simply possess one of these notebooks, my head cannot fully justify why such an investment is prudent. it isn't! it will probably be the least cost-effective thing i could do. i'll end up editing wedding videos (free), research documentaries (not funded), personal short films (hobby), blog (time wasting and free), go on the internet a lot (time wasting and NOT free) and, my word, mac software is supposed to cost quite a bit more, isn't it?
i dunno. like i said. i can't justify this. i've been bitten by the ibook bug. i've been mac attacked. my nails are sharpened. behold! i scratch!
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