Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.


On identity
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.

On Christianity
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.

On dreams
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.


On melancholy
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.

On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.

On language
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.

On politics
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?

On society
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.

On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.

On philosophy
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?

On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.


Saturday, March 19, 2005

I'm going to sydney! praise the Lord!!!

it was only this tuesday that we were in the young adult's prayer meeting. and pastor lee choo was leading us all to pray for favour in our workplaces. and we did. we prayed really fervently over this. now, i know this is God. i know it's Him because nothing happens without Him.

two days later, i get word from my boss that i'm being sent to the sydney office for training. praise God!

you know, when good things happen to not-always-good people, there's always the feeling of why. and i've been thinking a lot about this - why me? i'm sure there are lots of folks in my office with the same question on their lips - why him? did i do something right?

then i remember the parable Jesus told about those guys who were hired in the morning, and they earned x amount. and those guys who joined in in the afternoon, but they also earned x amount, like the morning guys. and when the morning batch found out, they started asking what was wrong with the reward system. and the boss in the parable told them, if i want to pay them x, it's up to me. as far as i'm concerned, you agreed to work for x, so don't complain.

i always see this from the perspective of the morning folks. but now, hey, i've been blessed. you know, i'm getting something i probably don't deserve. i've to look my colleagues in the eye and try to have a laugh over it when for all intents and purposes, they're wondering "why not me". there are friendly colleagues who openly tell me they wish it was them. and then there are colleagues who don't say anything. it's hard. why me?

it does, ultimately, boil down to one's theology of grace. i believe that God is gracious and He will give to us blessings which we do not deserve. and in His own way, He will reward those who love Him with all kinds of rewards they can never earn. this is grace - the abject failure of people to earn blessings, yet by God's generosity, He gives it to us anyway.

have i loved God more? have i prayed harder for favour? have i been a better christian to warrant this? no! this is essentially the point! i have not earned this. so, does this make God unfair? i dunno. but God is God and He does what He likes without having to explain. i am convinced beyond doubt that God's grace falls on all who love Him. and sometimes even those who have issues with Him.

in the meantime, i'll be in sunny sydney from this sunday to the next. i'll try to go to Hillsong church for good friday or something. i'll try to blog from there if i get the chance, but if i don't, trust that i'll be having the time of my life.

until then, i'll rest in reverance of the indescribable grace of God, which you and i know, exceeds all understanding. fair dinkum.


Genusfrog [ 2:18 pm ]


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