Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.


On identity
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.

On Christianity
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.

On dreams
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.


On melancholy
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.

On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.

On language
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.

On politics
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?

On society
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.

On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.

On philosophy
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?

On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.


Thursday, February 17, 2005

ooh, the singapore budget is coming out.


everybody likes a friday night. it's the kind of night you spend with your peers in happening places. to some, that will constitute a club or a pub or tub somewhere. for me, there's no more happening place than church (and all who agree say AMEN!).

when i was in melbourne, i became obsessed about my cultural identity. i went off and really questioned my own chineseness, and after the questioning was done, i answered it by performing my chineseness: writing it, listening to it, watching it, eating it. my cultural identity, so to speak, was in complete cahoots. xiang jiao ren in melbourne uni taking classes about post-mao history from an aussie tutor who spoke mandarin in beijing accent. i thought i was so confused. and then, i came back and everything became snug again.

for some, though, coming back to malaysia after studying abroad isn't so snug. and that's what's gonna be happening at my happening church this happening friday. we're having our first young adults gathering themed There and Back Again - we'll be discussing the challenges of coming back from overseas and settling down... a discussion i assume ranges from the practical (settling down) to the indentical (ok, so identical isn't the adjective form of identity, but i'll stretch this language all i like!)... to the identical (setting roots).

so it seems like a meeting tailor-made for me. not only is it exactly what i went through, but it is also something i sometimes continue to deal with on an everyday basis. five years overseas is a long time, mind you. and that is why, after looking forward to this meeting so much, i'm not at all impressed by the fact that i'm gonna have to miss it.

you see, the singapore budget is coming out this friday. for my company to get the report out, it needs to hit the printers before 6am on saturday morning. so i, along with a couple of other guys, will be working through friday night.

now, this just sucks, doesn't it? my happening friday in church has gone bust, for what? singapore's budget. i tell you, when the fish hits the roof, it rains scales.

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Genusfrog [ 4:06 am ]


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