BLOGGER



Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.


MAIN THEMES

On identity
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.

On Christianity
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.

On dreams
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.


OTHER THEMES

On melancholy
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.

On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.

On language
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.

On politics
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?

On society
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.

On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.

On philosophy
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?

On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.


CHAT





Thursday, February 24, 2005
CHAP GOH MEI AND GAMBLING

written yesterday evening. i know, i gotta curb this write first, post much later thing.

Chap Goh Mei.

The sendoff to another Chinese New Year.

Initially, Lennie suggested we go to Gloria Jeans for a drink tonight, to celebrate. but we all now reckon a more chinesey place will be nicer. also, we'll be having dinner as well. i didn't eat quite as much mandarins this year as i normally do. angpau collection tipped over last year's thanks to one or two generous aunties (God bless them!), and i think i spent enough time with my family (playing fireworks was a highlight i forgot to note earlier) as well as friends this year.

mahjong was nice. played it at home, as normal, and i also taught some SIB friends (whom i shall not name!!! why? because they're addicted, that's why!). all-in-all, i was real pleased with my meetings with relatives and old friends. i bought lots of clothes and now i have a major surplus for work, which is good (i've placed myself on a 3-month shirt-buying ban). meanwhile, the post cny weight loss program is already underway.

it's been a nice first cny year as a blogger. i'm not sure if you noticed, but all the films that made it into Movie of the Day since fifteen days ago have been chinese films. today's entry is the last one. now i've burnt a hole in my chinese films reserve, so it'll probably be odd european fare for the next few weeks! ha.

when i was in melbourne, i bought this beautiful mahjong set that had bamboo backs. it was really lovely. i wanted to play on them this cny. when i got back to muar, i couldn't find it. i thought, well, it must have been left in KL. now that i've come back, and looked for it, i'm wondering if it's somewhere in muar. actually, i'm afraid it's lost!

that's not good. it's a really nice set. and i spent a lot of money on it too.

people always say that gambling games are bad. i love gambling games. two of my favourite games, poker and mahjong, are famously known as bigtime gambling games. i've known of older ladies who "let their moneys fly" upon losing mahjong rounds. does this make me a gambling man? nah!

for starters, i don't play mahjong with money, nor even the complicated counting system. we just play, win, stack, play, win, stack. crikey, i think if money came in, it'd stop being fun. and that would miss the whole point of us playing the game. ah, but it's ok for mahjong - what about poker? the game that is inherently about betting, the game where one dares say is not about the art of cards but the art of bets. how does one do this? easy peasy. monopoly money. most people i play with don't take monopoly money seriously - it's fake, i'm all in. but i've got a few poker buddies like gordon who know that it's as painful to lose fake money as it is real, because it's not about the money, it's about the game. and that's real nice.

so, how has this post gone from chap goh mei to gambling? well, gambling is a well-worn chinese new year activity. and most people who meet up after cny will report on either their net losses or profits. like, i was over to see the high school guys, and there were two gambling tables. and much as i'd like to catch up with some of them, well, between a half-decent chat and a game of blackjack, i lost out to jack of diamonds. so nah...

*

CNY 2006 - what lies in store? i'd have been over a year at this job, hopefully i won't have to translate "subeditor" into hokkien much anymore (kueh lang sia eh mi kia). hopefully, all the silly questions like "where's your girlfriend" when i don't have one will become endangered and extinct between now and then. and though my theme for 2005 is "Become a man. Become da man", i hope to enjoy cny next year with the same measure of childlike joy as i sometimes felt this year. it's likely to wane as i grow older, but likely is still not a surety. at any case, it's in my hands, and it's also a long way more. for now, let me send off cny 2005 by wishing you guys a really blessed and happy chinese new year, one last time!

yaaaaaam seng!

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