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BLOGGER
Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.
MAIN THEMES
On identity i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes. On Christianity I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you. On dreams Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.
OTHER THEMES
On melancholy It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself. On memory and nostalgia It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting. On language I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word. On politics Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for? On society People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last. On growing old Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall. On philosophy I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man? On a daily basis One line quips, like this. CHAT
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Monday, January 31, 2005
ANTIBIOTIC PRAYERWhen you take antibiotics, you've gotta finish a whole course. i've known this all my life, but still, my terrible habit with them medicines persist. the last two times i've fallen sick, i've been prescribed antibiotics. and on both occassions, i quit the course before it really ran through five days. why would i do something like that? lazy, i guess. the first sign of improvement, the moment i feel well enough to miss a dose or two, i forget that i ever got on them, and i tell you, i've no clue how bad that must be for me. i'd hate to wake up one day and find out that none of the antibiotics work on me anymore. but really, what's more troubling is the inability to hang in there and finish my medicines. what's troubling is that at the first flush of healing, i forget that this one needs upkeep. yesterday, ps lee choo was talking about people who pray for healing for stuff like cancer. and when they pray, they really, really pray. but for lots of these people, the moment they get healed, they stop praying. some of people seek God so desperately when they want something, and the moment they get it, they stop seeking God. now, i don't have to be God to feel offended and cheapened by this kind of attitude. it usurps God and His willingness to love, His unconditional condition. it exploits his affection for us for what? some dumb earthly thing or a deliverance from what is inevitable - one's body failing unto death! am i saying that praying for things and healing is wrong? no. but if we only approach God to take and run, we treat Him like a 7 Eleven. oh but wait... i treat antibiotics in the same way. who am i to be all preachy about this? no one, i guess. because i too am found in this category of usurpers - and i admit that i don't respect my antibiotics enough to see them through the requisite five days. when i pray, i can end up asking for a lot. and while that is already mildly scary in itself (depending on what i'm asking for), what's more worrying is that last week, i considered the whole idea of "backsliding" and i was thinking about the whole mechanics of it. i thought about people who had backslidden, why they must have done so and how it applied to my life. and for a brief moment, backsliding seemed ok to me. of course, i snapped out of it and i can say that it is never something i wanna go near. but... .... if i entertain such thoughts any longer than "brief moment", you never know with these things. so, all in all, i don't want to take our Father forgranted anymore. it is cruel and unkind, and it must hurt Him so much. but not even because of that. if i really love Him the way i say i do, then i just will not usurp Him. i will see out my life with Him even after the good life kicks in. and as for antibiotics, next time i'm gonna take them to the end. Labels: christianity Genusfrog [
3:47 pm ]
 
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