BLOGGER



Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.


MAIN THEMES

On identity
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.

On Christianity
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.

On dreams
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.


OTHER THEMES

On melancholy
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.

On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.

On language
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.

On politics
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?

On society
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.

On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.

On philosophy
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?

On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.


CHAT





Sunday, December 12, 2004
POKER WITH THE DEVIL 3/6

A year later, when I started to consider borrowing money to keep playing poker, I met the thin man again. We were waiting for the table to clear. So I say to him, "Mister, that first time you came in here, and you set him back thirty thousand in five hands. How did you do that?" And he says to me, "Son, do you not know that the devil is bankrupt?"

I'd forgotten about that. I told the thin man I wasn't sure. "That thirty thousand doesn't belong to him. Some of it belongs to a cousin of mine, some of it belongs to my brother-in-law, and some of it belongs to you". He pulls out a roll of dollar bills. "Fourteen thousand. It's all you've ever lost since you were ten". He puts it in my hand. "You never should have lost it".

I was confused. What do you mean I never should have lost it? The thin man says to me, "Son, the devil is bankrupt. He has no right to play with you. But somehow his licence to keep this joint open keeps getting renewed".

So, none of us should be playing with him?

"All these guys, what do they know? They play poker with the devil to enrich themselves. Your grandfather, he did that didn't he?"

Yes. I think he did. So, it's not ok to play poker with the devil to enrich yourself?

"Son, if I have to tell you one more time that the devil is bankrupt, and has no ability to enrich anybody, I'm gonna first have to slap you across the face".

I was was struck by a strange fear, so I decided to think to myself while the thin man got caught in a conversation with someone else. One, the devil is bankrupt. Two, it's wrong to play poker with him to enrich yourself. Then I remembered the roll of fourteen thousand dollars in my hand.

"Mister," I tapped on the back of the thin man. "I lost this fair and square. I'm really thankful I got it back, but technically... isn't it unfair?"

"Son," and I don't know why he keeps calling me that, but he says, "do you know how the devil got bankrupt?"

"Yes. A man came in one day and played no-limit poker with him. And won everything."

"Do you know if the devil has paid up this debt?"

I wasn't sure. So I didn't say anything at first. Then, I remembered a neighbour of mine, who went bankrupt when I was a child. He lost his shop, his house and all his possessions. Even his wife left him, but I know that doesn't count. He couldn't have a title to his name.

"He hasn't paid up his debt." I answered, like a schoolboy. "If he did, he would no longer be bankrupt".

So the thin man says to me, "This fourteen thousand in your hand. All these 22 years, who owned it?"

Not me. I lost it. I lost it to the devil.

(But he cannot have a title to his name!)

"Son, wise up. The devil is incapable of ownership. It goes against his nature, ever since that man walked in and played no-limit poker and won it all. This we know. That fourteen thousand dollars has been withheld from you."

Withheld from me?

"It didn't belong to him. He just withheld it from you. You allowed him to take it, so he took it. You allowed him to hold it, so he withheld it. As for me, I play to claim back what he has withheld."

I thought about that. The thin man was really good at poker. He never had to open his pocket cards! How could he have anything to claim. Then, again I remembered the fourteen thousand rolled up in my hand. And more of it belonged to his brother-in-law.

"I'm up next, son," he says, patting me on the shoulder as struts up.

Wait. Wait. "You get up here every night," I start. "You never open your pocket. You never lose. How do you do that?"

The thin man, he turns back just as he is getting pumped up to take the table. And he is standing about five feet from me already, but all of a sudden, he is holding me by the shoulders, and his head is pressed against the side of mine. And he speaks into my ear, saying, "One, don't ever play to enrich yourself. Two, know that the devil is bankrupt. Three, play by faith and you will get the cards."

Faith in what? I was trembling. I didn't need to tremble but I was trembling.

"Faith that once, a man walked in here and played no-limit poker. And bankrupted the devil".

Labels:



Genusfrog [ 6:56 pm ]

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home