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Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.


MAIN THEMES

On identity
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.

On Christianity
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.

On dreams
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.


OTHER THEMES

On melancholy
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.

On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.

On language
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.

On politics
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?

On society
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.

On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.

On philosophy
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?

On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.


CHAT





Thursday, December 09, 2004
PETALING STREET FASHION

What's wrong with the way i look?

you see, i was in petaling street the other night. me and a couple of colleagues were out bringing our aussie trainer for a night of shopping and fun. we had gone straight from work too, so there i was in my long sleeves tucked in, carrying a nice bag - all in all, i thought i looked real "working".

it therefore zonked me to the collarbone when this man, a fellow shopper, came up to me and asked me how much one of the items for sale was. "i don't work here", came my quip and he noticeably felt embarrassed at his mistake. now, somedays, these mistakes are forgivable. but did i look like the petaling street shop seller kind? do you pick me out of the crowd and say "fake watch, lewd t-shirt and funny hair colour"? hey, maybe we all look like something dodgy, just that we don't know it.

now, i said earlier that some of these mistakes are forgivable. it's true. in fact, just last night, i was at One Utama browsing with ernest in zara. good shop you know. and this guy wearing a generic white shirt - no different from the actual staff there - carrying a few clothing items stands at the counter. i approach him from the back and i ask him where the changing rooms are. "i don't work here", came his quip. right. dodgy me. the girl at the counter had a big glee on and to mask my redface, i just wore one back and laughed it off, apologising to that dude twice. point of the matter is, my error - i argue - was more reasonable. i mistook him for someone working in a boutique that sells RM199 shirts.

back to the plot - petaling street. so it was within ten minutes of being mistaken for an ah beng that this guy stood right up to me while i was walking and whispered urgently in my face, "Porno, 5 star, 5 star!". Oh no! do i look like the porno type of guy too? what's wrong with this place? or better yet, what's wrong with me? why do i look so dodgy today? "You must be kidding me" would have been my growl if i knew the guy would get it, but i didn't think so. i just held my hand up, said no and walked away half a stride faster. porno 5 star. what was he thinking.

good golly, now google is gonna pick up my blog when people run dodgy web searches.

so i was in one utama last night specifically to buy clothes to go to work in. what better person to bring along than ernest my brother the guy who buys Folio magazine to get clothing ideas? along the way, i pick up a really cool Topman shirt. i liked it from the outset, but never being the beautiful boy, i had my question marks. "Does this look gay" was my question. "no" was ern's answer.

so today, my shopping trip paid off when aris, the office segak guy, asked me if i bought my shirt from raoul (raoul, ok! RM300 shirts ok!). he also asked me if they had it in other colours. what a delight. compliments from some guys just sound better than others. or girls for that matter. so, decked out to my nines, i walked home today looking into all the car windows. a million bucks. i feel a hundred miles from "porno 5 star".

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Genusfrog [ 7:08 pm ]

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