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Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.


MAIN THEMES

On identity
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.

On Christianity
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.

On dreams
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.


OTHER THEMES

On melancholy
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.

On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.

On language
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.

On politics
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?

On society
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.

On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.

On philosophy
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?

On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.


CHAT





Friday, November 05, 2004
THE PINK UMBRELLA

"Excuse me. Do you like pink umbrellas?"

*

It was raining every conceivable domestic pet today. As I was leaving my office at The Weld, I stopped by the mall to get myself an umbrella. Much to my distress, I learnt that none of the five places that sold umbrellas sold any umbrellas other than those with pretty flowers and cute little prancing animals. Gak! The truth is, any umbrella not resembling that of a young girl resembled instead that of an old woman. Such were the options on my hands. And all I wanted was an old fashioned black umbrella.

Never one to do things in half measures, I decided to buy a red umbrella and just look striking in the storm. The idea in itself was not so flawed, at least until I flapped open the umbrella itself - and in all its redness, I somewhat, for lack of a better word, freaked out. So it would come as a much welcomed surprise that the red umbrella in my hand turned out to be faulty. Very relieved, I brought it back to Guardian, where I was - unrelieved again - faced with the options aforementioned. Actually, I got a cash refund and headed elsewhere to cast my vote.

I would have bought a yellow umbrella. Firstly, yellow is the universal colour of raincoats. On top of that, I once wrote a character who went around with a yellow umbrella, so I am quite favourable towards them. The one available, though, had to have some japanese creature of sorts all over it. I don't know - I just couldn't bring myself to buy it.

So what do I buy instead? A pink umbrella of course! How smart of me! (and indeed). I reasoned that a pink umbrella might have better exchange value with my sisters. I just had to make my way home and then try swapping it with one of the girls. By the time I got to the train station, my patience, it seemed, was short. I had a better idea - try swap it with someone there! Why not? Everyone had umbrellas. I just had to find a girl with an old fashioned black collapsible umbrella that seemed equatable in value and odds are, she'd swap.

It turns out, however, that there aren't that many girls going around carrying old fashioned black collapsible umbrellas. After failing at the monorail station, I hedged my luck at the changeover at the Sentral. That was when I found one. Not only did she have the exact umbrella I was coveting, she was wearing pink! Perfect! Pulling out my item of trade, I set off on my barter business, and approached the girl.


"Excuse me. Do you like pink umbrellas?"

She looked at me and didn't say anything. She seemed confused.

"I was wondering if you'd like to swap with me", i managed to lay down the deal in such crude terms, motioning self-consciously with my heinous pink shelter, all folded up. She shook her head and bluntly said No.

bugger.

She seemed mighty glum for a girl in pink. Why didn't she want to swap? She was obviously well-disposed to pink, she wore it on herself. Why was she carrying a black umbrella anyway? Black is dull. It's for privately colourful people like me. She looked like the flamboyant type. Sigh.

So I made my way home and the umbrella now dries somewhere between the door and the gate. It turns out that elaine already has a pink umbrella of her own and audrey doesn't like collapsible umbrellas. How picky. And all I want is to get rid of my pink umbrella without making a nine ringgit ninety loss.

My recourse, it seems, has come in a surprising package. Ernest has just mentioned that he'd like to 'start an umbrella collection' one day. Perfect, then! "One day, I might buy it from you", he continues. Right. One day. He better make it soon. Cos on Monday, I'm not going to office with that thing.

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Genusfrog [ 4:59 pm ]

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