BLOGGER



Youngest kid of six with an inferiority and black sheep complex, but determined that God saves not just his soul to heaven but the remainder of his manic-depressive life, so others won't say he became a Christian and remained a jerk.


MAIN THEMES

On identity
i won't be transparent before i'm opaque. and you'll get to know me starting from the small things: who my favourite bands are. what kind of movies i like. who are my heroes.

On Christianity
I’m convinced that when confronted with sincere, real love, the Jesus factor will become obvious. But let’s not plant the cross before we carry it. I’m not trying to con you.

On dreams
Some dreams are meant to be achieved. I know that. But maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, privately. Never known to anyone but ourselves.


OTHER THEMES

On melancholy
It is a sadness that, when choosing between crying and sighing, will choose sighing. I'd almost say that melancholy is being sad about sadness itself.

On memory and nostalgia
It saddens me when life moves forward and people decide that certain things are worth forgetting.

On language
I've learnt that the word irregardless is filed as a non-standard word in the English language. That's a lexicographer's way of saying it's not a real word.

On politics
Crowds are fickle things. So when we stand in the thousands and cry against the present government, do we know who we're actually crying for?

On society
People always want the best for themselves. But I want to sometimes take second or third or fourth best, just so that the loser down the road doesn't always have to come in last. It must feel like shit to always come in last.

On growing old
Leasehold property make me feel sad. It doesn't matter how old the family photos are that you put on your wall. It's your family but it's not really your wall.

On philosophy
I ask you, if God loves everyone, and if God is also incapable of loving evil, how can there be such a thing as an evil man?

On a daily basis
One line quips, like this.


CHAT





Friday, July 30, 2004
KAIS PAGI MAKAN PAGI

do i wanna be rich in life? do i wanna make good money, have the odd hundred, the odd thousand on the rare luxury? why not the frequent luxury?

right now, i'm pretty much living a hand to mouth existence... kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang. i found a chap in the Bible with an amazing outlook to life. i'm not really saying i (or anyone) have to be like him... but it's an amazing outlook to life nonetheless. His name is Agur, and he probably only appears once, in Proverbs 30, here from verse 7.

"...give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread"

finally! a kais pagi makan pagi guy! well, actually the Bible isn't short of these types - Israel in the 40 desert years lived exactly like this - receiving manna afresh every day. when they tried to store it up, it went bad. They got only their daily bread, and were not rich but were not poor either.

i'm impressed with our friend Agur here. impressed and encouraged. his eye is really set on God and being fed by God. some may call him unambitious or aiming low but i marvel at his prayer. i don't dare pray like that lest it comes true!!! he really desires to live solely for God, no more or less. he'll take the bare minimum - subsistence living, for it aids his worship and faithfulness to God. his practical approach to wealth or lackthereof is seen in verse 8:

"Otherwise, i may have too much and disown you and say 'Who is the Lord?' or i may become poor and steal, and so dishonour the name of my God."

i reckon Agur has backslid before or have seen it happen around him. at any case, he is very aware of the weaknesses of the human will. a kind of... you-can-say-you-love -God-today-but-wait- till-your-circumstan ces-change scenario. Agur in his prayer tells God to keep his circumstances modest, that he may never be tested in this way, for he knows his weakness. i find him observant and wise in this sense. and very sacrificial.

As a freelancer for now, i'm just getting my daily bread and little more. it allows me to keep serving the Lord in church, in my ministry, fellowshipping with my brothers n sisters, refuelling my car and staying alive. i feel so humbled right now. so humbled because a part of me actually wants this life forever.

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Genusfrog [ 9:36 am ]

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