GOODCHRISTIANBOY

SO I DON'T FORGET #1

2010-06-30T16:22:00.000+08:00

La meme nuit by Gracie Otto

WHERE DOES THIS GO?

2010-02-03T16:47:00.005+08:00

There is a landfill. it sits across town, maybe even across state, from where you live. every evening, you put the trash out and someone brings it there. and then, there's a furnace. they're not the same.

no difference with our sins. sometimes, we push our sins around, from one compartment in our hearts to another. and we dig deep holes so we can bury it and keep it far from sunlight. and we think that's a good way to deal with sin. just like how we think landfills is a good way to deal with our trash.

but we can bring our sins, like our daily waste, to a furnace, where it can be burnt up. we can light a match and watch it go up in smoke. scientifically, furnaces generate heat and heat is an energy source. so burning up your daily trash is one way to renew energy source. unlike a landfill, it's not just a spacehog. it's actually good for something. and so is bringing your sins to get burnt up.

so the question for myself - and all of us, i guess - is this: have we been moving our private trash from one place in our lives to another, digging holes to cover it up and dressing it so no one notices? maybe it's time we went to the giant furnace on which Jesus hung, and emptied our trashcans at his feet. after all, did he not become trash so that we didn't have to keep it all inside?

THESE GLORIOUS DAYS

2009-12-08T14:41:00.004+08:00

Life moves fast. and it's easy to forget that as it flutters by, new memories are being made. athalia and i have started a blog together called These glorious days. i like to think that it arrests the everyday mundane moments so that we can grow old safe in the knowledge that we're leaving behind a trail with which we can use to reminisce.

you can journey with us by clicking here.

THE WORLD CUP DRAW IS RIGGED IF...

2009-12-03T02:04:00.005+08:00

World Cup fever is back. And with the draw taking place on Friday, I just want to get a theory out of the way, and to do it now, so that when it happens, you can point your amazed fingers back to this blog and say that Fergus said it first.

South Africa will get an easy group. They are the hosts. They'll get all the help FIFA can give to make sure they get out of the group stage. And to fix this, they will be placed in a group of easy teams. The pots go like this:

Pot 1: South Africa, Germany, Brazil, Italy, Spain, England, Argentina, Holland
Pot 2: France, Portugal, Slovenia, Switzerland, Greece, Serbia, Denmark, Slovakia
Pot 3: Ivory Coast, Ghana, Cameroon, Nigeria, Algeria, Paraguay, Chile, Uruguay
Pot 4: Japan, South Korea, North Korea, Australia, New Zealand, USA, Mexico, Honduras

My theory goes like this:

(1) The draw is likely to have been rigged in some way if South Africa completely avoids any of the following teams:

Pot 2: France or Portugal
Pot 3: Ivory Coast
Pot 4: South Korea or Australia

(2) The draw is almost surely to have been rigged if South Africa final draw comprises, from each pot, the following teams:

Pot 2: Slovenia or Slovakia
Pot 3: Algeria
Pot 4: North Korea, New Zealand or Honduras

(3) The draw is definitely 100% shamelessly rigged if South Africa's group ends up looking like this:

South Africa / Slovakia / Algeria / Honduras

(4) The draw is definitely not rigged if South Africa's group looks like this:

South Africa / Portugal / Ghana / South Korea

And while I'm at it, here's my vision of the deadliest possible group of death:

Spain / France / Ivory Coast / Australia

THE PROBLEM WITH WEN TI

2009-11-08T15:33:00.003+08:00

i've never really wondered why critical thinking, as a learning method, has always been the domain of western education. chinese education prides itself in diligence and rote learning but i've never heard of a chinese school that fostered asking lots of probing, critical questions. i've always taken this as a given, but i've recently stumbled on what's possibly the fundamental reason why.

in mandarin, the words for "question" is "wen ti". but "wen ti" doesn't only mean "question". "wen ti" also means "problem". it all clicked. if asking a question is phoenetically identical to introducing a problem, you're not gonna ask many questions.

when someone says "wo mei you wen ti", they are essentially making a simultaneous double comment that when "i don't have a question", "i don't have a problem".

questions are not associated with discovery, wonderment, understanding, truth, or clarity. questions are associated with problems. and nobody wants problems. so nobody asks questions.

i fully understand that the chinese tradition largely ignores asking questions because it's not really the confucian way of learning, which is pretty much one-way traffic from senior to junior. but something tells me that the double meaning of this mandarin term is at least partly responsible for generations of chinese teachers who would rather you just shut up and listen.

ON ISRAEL

2009-10-29T15:10:00.007+08:00

What i'm about to write is something i'm still wrapping my head around. if it's offensive, or factually erronneous, or full of holes, engage me on it.

a lot of christians keep a close eye on israel and the israel situation. because of the origins of our faith, it's not only natural but almost intuitive to do so. i also know a lot of christians who are very pro-israel. my own pastors are leading the line on this, so again, i think this position is fairly mainstream.

but there are things about israel - and christians' unequivocal support of them - that bug me. i guess at the heart of what i'm struggling to understand is this: is the israel of today the same israel as that of that of the old testament? or perhaps i could finetune the question a little.

is national israel today the same israel as that of the old testament.

one more finetune.

is national israel today the same "israel" as that of the old testament.

i can understand it if christians are looking at an old testamental israel with hopes of the endtimes. i can understand it if christians bless an old testamental israel because God said that whoever curses them will be cursed. it's not that i don't get it. but what israel are we fixated on today?

the old testamental israel was an israel of a testament. they were an israel of a promise. this present day national israel does not look like that israel. when i read the papers, it hurts to see that the national israel of today's trust rests not in their God YHWH, but in a nuclear stockpile and an allyship with the united states. what is so "israel" about this israel?

i'm a chinese christian. i know nuts about what it means to be semitic. but i know that israel's finest moments have always been when the odds were stacked against them and they trusted God to deliver them. sometimes, by sheer miracle (the parting of the sea), sometimes by sheer absurdity (jericho's walls), and even many times by military strength (david's many conquests). but the God of the old testament also did say that it is not by might nor by power but by the Spirit, and this is the same God who wouldn't let David build his temple because of the blood he shed.

as a christian, i wish i had a testamental israel to look towards for the hope of escathology. but no such israel seems to exist. the existing israel's trust is not in God - chosen people of God that they supposedly are. they protect themselves like how north korea and pakistan protect themselves. what's so special about an israel that looks like that. maybe it's also apt to ask what's so special about any christian nation that protects itself like that. nothing. nationalist militaristic nations are, if i may adapt the yiddish term, goyische, and i have no intention to fixate on them.

national israel today is a goyische israel.

why is the christian church so fixated about a goyische national israel?

i'm not. i'm not even impressed.

nothing about the middle east today, and its conflicts, inspires me to love and revere this same YHWH more. as a bypassing observer of the mainstream press, the nation we learned to love in the old testament today bears for me an embarrasing testimony to the rest of the world.

just more of the same weapons, only in different hands. really, what's so special about it?

HAPPINESS WILL GET YOU IN THE END

2009-10-15T12:16:00.001+08:00

IS THAT YOU IN MY SKETCHUP MODEL FERGS?

2009-10-10T01:02:00.001+08:00

Is that you in my sketchup model fergs

PLANTING A TREE

2009-10-01T18:08:00.007+08:00

There's a big difference between working very hard for the man and working very hard building your own house.

i've slogged before as an employee. it feels like chickenshyte. you feel like they're sucking the life out of you. and now, i'm slogging as a business owner, but i'm feeling the difference. it's tiring. it's more tiring. and sometimes, it's just downright rubbish, but when you sit back and look at the work you've done, there's a sense of satisfaction because this thing now belongs to you. and you've planted a tree into your own business' frontyard. and when this tree starts fruiting, i'll be here to pick it up. and for all the exhaustion, i've not been feeling as spiritually bankrupt as the working hours suggest i should be.

i guess i'm seeing some purpose behind all the rigours of my current life.

BLESSED ARE THE PEACEMAKERS

2009-09-24T21:54:00.003+08:00

BLESSED ARE THE PEACEMAKERS

A peace keeper keeps peace from the position of peace. A peacemaker makes peace from a position of conflict. I'm a peace keeping kind of person. But peacemakers are more blessed.

SO, HOW CAN WE FILL THAT GAP?

2009-09-22T14:33:00.000+08:00

SO, HOW CAN WE FILL THAT GAP?

Throw a party in January.

I THINK IF WE WANT THEM TO COME ON WEDNESDAYS...

2009-09-21T14:32:00.001+08:00

IF WE WANT THEM TO COME ON WEDNESDAYS...

... we need to go on Tuesdays.

SHE'S LIKE THIS MEGA BRITNEY FAN

2009-09-20T14:30:00.001+08:00

SHE'S LIKE THIS MEGA BRITNEY FAN

(I think we've had this conversation before)

WHY IS THIS TOILET BOWL THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS?

2009-09-19T14:27:00.000+08:00

WHY IS THIS TOILET BOWL THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS?

Maybe it can hold you to sleep at night.

SNIFF SNIFF

2009-09-18T14:24:00.000+08:00

SNIFF SNIFF

The consequences come dripping.

ALL NIGHTER

2009-09-17T14:18:00.000+08:00

ALL NIGHTER

Must I really do this at every office I work in?

AESTHETIC 02

2009-09-16T12:37:00.002+08:00

AESTHETIC 02

"They're reliving our early days, honey."

SPLIT SCREENS

2009-09-15T12:35:00.000+08:00

SPLIT SCREENS

That's it!

SILICONE CHIP

2009-09-14T12:32:00.001+08:00

SILICONE CHIP

...gets switched to overload.

DINNER

2009-09-13T12:31:00.000+08:00

DINNER

You know it went well when your goodbyes last half an hour.

QUOTE

2009-09-12T12:30:00.000+08:00

QUOTE

Sixty what???

DELIVERING FOOTAGE

2009-09-11T12:33:00.001+08:00

DELIVERING FOOTAGE

It takes a whole working day(?).

AESTHETIC 01

2009-09-10T12:29:00.001+08:00

AESTHETIC 01

How committed are you to go all the way?

WELCOME

2009-09-09T12:28:00.000+08:00

WELCOME

We normally start this late.

NOBODY

2009-09-08T12:27:00.000+08:00

NOBODY

Errr... so nobody wants to do this, huh.

OLDER

2009-09-07T12:26:00.000+08:00

OLDER

We can make ourselves sound even older by adding grunts in between everything we say.

WINE

2009-09-06T12:24:00.000+08:00

WINE

You can really drink this one like juice.

FIREPROOF

2009-09-05T12:23:00.000+08:00

FIREPROOF

Really? I've been looking everywhere for floors that I can't burn up!

WHAT CAN I SAY?

2009-09-04T12:22:00.000+08:00

WHAT CAN I SAY?

I just wish it didn't end this way.

KEYS

2009-09-03T12:21:00.000+08:00

KEYS

We got it! We got it we got it we got it!!

I HATE JARGON

2009-09-02T12:19:00.000+08:00

I HATE JARGON

Sorry, what's an MPR?

SEPTEMBER

2009-09-01T12:17:00.001+08:00

SEPTEMBER

Hello, you crazy month.

GROGGY

2009-08-16T16:21:00.005+08:00

Where am I?

has a lot changed? was it long?

not very long. but it's felt long. i feel groggy.

have i got stories? i think they're stories. some of them i can tell. yeah. some of them i definitely can tell.

wait, let me get up.

i think i'm gonna stay up for a while.

SIGNS OF LIFE

2009-08-14T11:09:00.004+08:00

Poke.

I think he moved.

2009-06-30T15:59:00.003+08:00

I've had this self-styled quote on a strip of paper stuck to the top of my monitor for years. today, i'm consigning it to the bin. i never really knew what it meant. but it's strange, that today of all days, with all the uncertainty of the world before me, i put this quote down.

there, buddy. come down.

WON'T MISS HIM

2009-06-26T11:25:00.005+08:00

Michael jackson died? oh, boo bloody hoo. everyone's going beserk on twitter today saying that he's such a loss and that he'll be missed. really? is anyone really gonna miss him? i think it's all a big glossy lie. no? oh how come? maybe it's because since nevermind expelled dangerous from the top of the billboard charts in 1991, he's been culturally irrelevant for what, 17 years. maybe it's because he hasn't put out any real music since 1995. and maybe it's because we're all so sick and disenchanted that the child star everyone loved grew into everything we fear for our own children.

no, seriously. when we say that michael jackson will be missed, exactly what are we planning to miss? seeing him live? hearing him on the radio? buying his "next" record? the right time to miss those things was in 1992. the man had two good records. TWO: thriller and bad. and bad wasn't even near thriller. and you can't even miss him because of those records because you can put them on anytime you like. so really, in what way does michael jackson's death make today's sky any less blue than yesterday's? the man's been dead for years.

his death this morning just confirms it.

i won't miss him, not one bit. his legacy is in every singing/dancing more shallow version of a solo artiste around today, and even that i can do without. the best parts of his career are in the can and the rest is in the casket. no tear shed.

PLEASE DON'T DIE, HEIDI (PLEASE)

2009-06-19T13:39:00.001+08:00

I HEART GOLDEN SILVERS

2009-06-18T16:40:00.004+08:00

It takes a lot to make me like the 80s. ok maybe that was true of me up to mid last year. then the starflyer album showed up and this whole 80s revival started making in-roads into my heart. a few weeks ago, it was the new bon voyage album. ooh, nice. and then last week, the cupid of 80s love struck one proper arrow into me and now i'm completely in love.

the band in question is golden silvers.

to be fair, they didn't win me over purely on their 80s revival sound. there are many moments on their debut record where their harmonies sound like the beach boys, or when the singing made me check if this was a pete doherty side project (it's not). but after about seven days of solid non-stop spinning, it's the 80s numbers that have hooked me. it's the new new romanticism. it's kitsch 80s parody. it's sublime retro pop that's generic yet original. sigh. i've lost all objectivity with these boys.

here's to the highlight of my music listening for 2009: golden silvers.

MYBODYISN'THACKINGIT

2009-06-17T17:04:00.001+08:00

SHOULD I REALLY BE BUYING BLACK SOCKS

2009-06-16T13:35:00.000+08:00

PUT ON A TABLE

2009-06-11T15:08:00.004+08:00

The context: we're heading straight from work for a shoot with fai's company, beanworks.

Athalia: what do you want to have for dinner?

Fergus: hmmmmmmmm

to be very honest

not much

what would you like?

Athalia: bubba gumps

with a milkshake from mcd's

Fergus: :O

Athalia: and maybe some green tea ice-cream

can?

Fergus: can

put it on beanworks

heheheh

Athalia: dowan

I prefer to put it on a table

easier to eat

Fergus: qahahahahaha!@!!1!

I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

2009-06-10T17:17:00.002+08:00

BEATITUDES HOMEWORK 4

2009-06-01T00:20:00.003+08:00

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they shall be filled.

when i seriously get into a piece of work, i tend to forget everything else. i forget that i need to sleep. i forget that i need the loo, or to shower. and i forget to eat and drink.

maybe that's a bit like the beatitude.

because when we seriously get into the business of life, it's easy to forget about righteousness. it's certainly easy to not hunger and thirst for it, like how we hunger and thirst for food. hunger and thirst for food is habitual. it's routine and repetitive, and in a span of one day, we are physiologically reminded of it three maybe four times.

but righteousness is not like that, is it? who among us has a spiritual pop-up that reminds us, on a daily basis, that it's righteousness time?

yet, the beatitude is instinctive and daily. it's not implying something seasonal, or in spurts. godliness is an everyday thing.

blessed are those who long for godliness every day. they will have a meaningful life.

i'm amazed at the nourishment metaphor. jesus once said "my food is to do the will of him who sent me". that's his food. that's what he hungers and thirsts for. it's what nourishes him. fills him. satisfies him. satiates him.

sustains him.

doing the will of the father. that is food. like clockwork. hunger and thirst.

blessed are those who feel the need for God's work. they will never run dry.

REMEMBERING JOHOR

2009-05-29T16:38:00.005+08:00

What started off as an abbas saad feature on soccernet led me down a very nostalgic trip along one of football's more local memory lanes.

it's 1991. i'm eleven years old. my school buddies are stanley wong and munadzam. we share a common love of two things: gila gila magazine and the johor state football team.

that year, johor wins the malaysian semi-pro league. abbas saad is the top scorer with twenty odd goals. we go to the malaysia cup final to face selangor. i don't know about stanley or munadzam, but this is a particularly big match for me because five years prior, when i was six, i saw selangor demolish johor 6-1 at this same stage.

but on this cup final night, that guy above, ervin boban, struck three past selangor and we carried the malaysia cup home. it was one of my best experiences ever as a football fan. and until today, that team - with abbas saad, alistair edwards, ervin boban, nasir yusof, a young annuar abu bakar, captained by salehan mohd som and managed by mike urukalo - will always be one of my favourite, if not my alltime favourite, football team.

my dream would be for johor to be in the final of the malaysia cup again, when i can bring my family to watch it at the stadium. i can imagine the conversation already.

me: kids, the last time johor was in a malaysia cup final, papa was eleven. and he saw us destroy selangor.

kids: but pa... we live in selangor.

me: no we don't. who said? who said?

kids: pa. subang jaya is in selangor. my school badge has yellow and red on it.

me: where got? i don't see any yellow. that's blue, son. stop pretending to be colour blind.

ELEVEN YEARS OF BIG EARS

2009-05-27T16:55:00.004+08:00

It's quite fantastic, but last year i forced myself to watch a champions league final that i dreaded to watch because i couldn't bear to see either team win, because of one reason alone. it was to be my tenth european cup final in a row. this year's is eleven. i don't need the preservation of a record to spur me on tonight. i've been all catalan for weeks now and will continue to be till the final whistle and, hopefully, well beyond. here's ten years of european cup finals for me.

1998 Real Madrid 1-0 Juventus

Saw it at: Gratton St home, Melbourne

Was in Melbourne. We came home after a late night, I think, and I popped on the tv. I was a new Juve fan at the time, and was heartbroken at the score, with something like 10 minutes to go. I would later realise that this was their third successive final and I guess that made me proud.

1999 Man Utd 2-1 Bayern Munich

Saw it at: Gratton St home, Melbourne

Already a four-year Liverpool fan, this one was a no brainer. That same season, United snuck in two late goals to beat Liverpool in the FA Cup (I think) and my heart bled for Bayern over this one. Distinctly remember staying up for this one.

2000 Real Madrid 3-0 Valencia

Saw it at: The Avenue home, Melbourne

Remember watching this and thinking (a) who is this Valencia, (b) is this what it's like in the Spanish league, and (c) this does not feel like a cup final.

2001 Bayern 1-1 Valencia (Bayern win on penalties)

Saw it at: West Brunswick home, Melbourne

Was somewhat chuffed for Bayern because I saw it as poetic justice for losing final three years prior. Today, I regret it. It's a shame that Valencia never won Big Ears in their two giddy years reaching the finals.

2002 Real Madrid 2-1 Bayer Leverkusen

Saw it at: West Brunswick home, Melbourne

How to forget that Zidane goal? I followed Leverkusen's road to the final very closely, through a magazine show on SBS called World Soccer. And I remember supporting them helplessly, hoping in some way that Madrid would not be able to pull off the boring win. Ok, so it wasn't a boring win. But it was still boring.

2003 AC Milan 1-1 Juventus (AC Milan win on penalties)

Saw it at: Gasing home, PJ

Ah the hype. Was up on the couch with Win and Ern (Milanese) only to witness my Italian side bow out with some piss poor penalties. European Cup final support-success eludes me one more time.

2004 Porto 3-0 Monaco

Saw it at: Gasing home, PJ

I was rooting for Monaco on this one. Morientes was inspiring. Their victory over Madrid was the highlight of that season's tournament. Porto was vile. They'd been vile since beating Celtic in the UEFA Cup final the year before. Again, the team I back loses.

2005 Liverpool 3-3 AC Milan (Liverpool win on penalties)

Saw it at: Gasing home, PJ

Until this. This glorious cup final to end all cup finals. This masterpiece of drama, football, inspiration and fandom stirred to become the pinnacle of my 24-year career as a fan of the sport. Yes, I was on my knees. Yes, I was crying like a baby. Am damn proud of it.

2006 Barcelona 2-1 Arsenal

Saw it at: Gasing home, PJ

Was living out on my own already but made the trip back to Gasing to catch this with Win. For the second successive year, I celebrate a European Cup victory. I'd already been partial to Barcelona since the late 90s, so to finally see them succeed in Madrid's sport - and deny Arsenal at the same time - was quite sweet.

2007 AC Milan 2-1 Liverpool

Saw it at: Centerpoint mamak, BU

Oh the heartbreak. I grumbled all night with Adrian and Chris half winding me up, half probably not really knowing whether to feel sorry for me. I kicked at a mamak chair (lightly). Both teams were poor. We were just poorer. We had the more romantic road to the final, taking out Barcelona, Arsenal and Chelsea. But they got their revenge. It gets worse.

2008 Man Utd 1-1 Chelsea (Man Utd win on penalties)

Saw it at: Mamak at Bayu Puteri, then Original Kayu, Aman Suria

Grudgingly went downstairs to catch the game and was quite pleased that no one was winning it until the mamak closed midway through the second half and chased everyone out - a move that shocked me enough to handle either team winning. Drove out to Kayu to finish off the game. It stretched till penalties. B****rd Terry. I will never forgive you. Hah.

And so, tonight, I begin my second decade of catching European Cup finals. I still call it the European Cup. I grew up reading books that called it the European Cup and even if the competition's name has changed, I will always prefer to call it by the name of the tropy. Here's to ten more years.

BEATITUDES HOMEWORK 3

2009-05-25T00:48:00.000+08:00

Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth.

really?

unblessed are the dominating, the earth won't go to them.

really??

not the mighty? not the forceful and powerful and triumphant and aggressive? not pushy people? not the bloodthirsty, ambitious and ruthless people? not the bullish? the dominant? the bossy?

not the type A personalies?

the colerics? not them? i always thought that the colerics will inherit the earth (and the phlegmatics won't notice it!)

oh wait. it says inherit.

inherit.

the colerics rule the earth, that we know. the mighty and forceful and aggressive stampede through business and politics. the bossy boss. and the dominant dominate. but inheriting the earth is not the same thing as rampaging all over it. rampage is taken.

inheritance is given.

inheritance involves a father making a choice. and the bible says that God chooses his meek children to hand the earth to.

so what really is meek? i've learned that meek is not weak. it's not timid. the original greek word is praus and it denotes "strength brought under control". they say that praus is like breaking the will of a horse until it will let someone sit on it. before you break its will, it's strong but you can't use it. after you break its will, it's still strong, but now you can...

harness it.

meekness, it seems, is like that. the earth is not going to people whom God can't harness.

blessed are those who'll let God harness them. he'll entrust the world to them.

MONUMENTAL WEEKEND

2009-05-22T16:42:00.007+08:00

AND SO, MY MASSIVE WEEKEND BECKONS

This could be a monumental weekend.

one of those big career weekends.

sunday. then monday.

send up a prayer.

amen.

BEATITUDES HOMEWORK 2

2009-05-17T15:25:00.000+08:00

Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.

what is it to mourn? do we only mourn when someone dies? is it...

grief?
sorrow?
a deep sadness?
feeling depressed?
feeling broken?

feeling totally shattered?

what does a mourner look like? he weeps. he's inconsolable. in ancient israel, when you mourn, you put a sackcloth over your head. it looks weird. it must be depressing to sit around with your head in a sackcloth for days. but they did that when they mourned.

loss is absolute, but grief is relative. i've never lost anyone close to me before, but i've felt the grief of a mourner. it's painful. and until someone walks you out of it, it's a very dark place to be in. like being in a sackcloth.

that someone walking you out of it, that's comfort. someone holding you when you're crying your eyes out, that's comfort. someone putting things into perspective, that's comfort.

comfort is soothing. it is care. it is reassurance. it is relief.

blessed are those who are broken inside. they will find relief.

but isn't this circumstantial? can you be constantly sad? what if you've nothing to mourn about?

really?

can't be constantly sad? where i have lunch, there's this lady who goes around hawking some really useless furry toys to the office and construction crowd. she's never gonna make a sale there, and even if she does, it's never gonna sustain her. what's she doing there? who does she need to feed? where did she get those toys and how long has she been trying to sell them? how many of those things does she need to sell before she can go home each day? and what's it like for her to go home every day with her basket still full of nonsense?

she breaks my heart.

and life must break her heart.

and if you were her, it's not hard to be constantly sad. and sorrow is no longer episodic.

blessed are those who are brokenhearted because of life. someone will care for them.

BEATITUDES HOMEWORK 1

2009-05-12T14:20:00.003+08:00

Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

poor in spirit.

as opposed to... rich in the flesh?

who's rich in the flesh? tycoons? self-made men? people who are sufficient with the things of the world? what does that make the poor in spirit?

people who are insufficient in their own spirit? a poverty of the will?

bankruptcy inside?

and what's this kingdom of heaven?

a kingdom is a territory. a sovereign territory. like saudi arabia. but this is the kingdom of heaven. it's the sovereign territory of heaven. with a demarcation. and a king. Jesus said that when john the baptist showed up, the kingdom of heaven started advancing. people started laying hold of it.

it's not an earthly kingdom. maybe it's not even a cosmic kingdom.

i've heard people say that it's a kingdom in the heart. that since john the baptist arrived, this kingdom was doing all that advancing in the hearts of men. and people were repenting.

blessed are those bankrupt inside. God's kingdom will advance in their hearts.

does that make sense? what if you were not bankrupt inside? what if you were fortified inside. say, maybe you have a fortress for a spirit. can the kingdom of God advance in your heart? in your inside?

blessed are those who know that they can't do it by themselves. their hearts will become God's territory.

ON TAKING YOUR CROSS

2009-05-05T11:50:00.003+08:00

ON TAKING YOUR CROSS

Hey. wait a minute.

Jesus says "anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me" in matthew 11 when he sends out the twelve. the cross doesn't show up until much later, maybe about two years later, when Jesus actually gets nailed to one.

was he prefiguring it?

isn't it strange that Jesus should tell his disciples to take up a cross long before Jesus would himself be subject to it? wouldn't they have found his invitation quite random? surely they had little concept of what the cross would mean to them at this stage.

say you went up to your teacher or pastor or hero, and he said "put a noose around your neck and follow me", wouldn't you find it strange?

i know what Jesus is doing here. he's inviting them to immitate him, because he knows that one day, they too will have to take up their cross and die for the truth. it just never occurred to me that Jesus was talking about the cross long before the crucifixion.

TO QUOTE: ON RELEVANT NONCONFORMITY

2009-04-28T13:41:00.002+08:00

TO QUOTE: ON RELEVANT NONCONFORMITY

"What if we could say to our kids, 'You are different; you are Christian.' We are a contrast society, not just a hip counterculture. What marks us as different must be more than something external or superficial; it must be a peculiar way of living ... Our hope is that the posmodern, post-Christian world is once again ready for a people who are peculiar, people who spend their energy creating a culture of contrast rather than a culture of relevancy. If we are to be relevant to the world we live in, we must be relevant nonconformists."

- Shane Claiborne, Jesus for President

COME HOME

2009-04-23T10:02:00.007+08:00

Kenny dalglish said today:

"if i can be of help to the club i love in any capacity then i'm more than happy to play any part that i can."

set. the number 7 is vacant. training starts tomorrow morning.

TO QUOTE: ON THE BOMB

2009-04-20T11:43:00.000+08:00

TO QUOTE: ON THE BOMB

"If it's not love, then it's the bomb that will bring us together."

- The Smiths, Ask

TO QUOTE: ON FRIDAY

2009-04-17T11:46:00.000+08:00

TO QUOTE: ON FRIDAY

"I don't care if Monday's blue / Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too / Thursday, I don't care about you / It's Friday, I'm in love"

- The Cure, Friday I'm In Love

THE POLICE WANT TO KNOCK ON YOUR DOOR

2009-04-15T14:14:00.002+08:00

THE POLICE WANT TO KNOCK ON YOUR DOOR

The first place to find pirated DVDs is Speedy.

TO QUOTE: ON THEREFORE

2009-04-14T10:45:00.000+08:00

TO QUOTE: ON THEREFORE

"Another important connective is therefore. Whenever you see a therefore, go back and see what it's there for."

- Bible teacher Howard Hendrickson gets witty about Biblical grammar

"MY ATTEMPT AT WRITING A SHORT STORY"

2009-04-08T17:26:00.000+08:00

"MY ATTEMPT AT WRITING A SHORT STORY"

Wilson woke up one morning and realized that all his friends were into writing short stories. The straw that broke his lumpy back was an email from the sixth friend – this was Gerald, though his name is unimportant as he will not be mentioned for a second time – sending him a manuscript and asking him for feedback.

He thought to himself - and did so while sitting in what should be a poignant thinking posture except that on him it just looked comical – and thought about the words “He thought to himself”.

“Oh my sunshine,” his brain exclaimed. “There’s a redundancy in the line ‘He thought to himself’. Clearly you can’t think to anyone else.” Wilson smiled.

Feeling awfully clever, he turned on his computer and started writing a short story. He even had the audacity to call it “My attempt at writing a short story”.

And so Wilson wrote all morning, skipped lunch and wrote all afternoon and was about to consider pulling off a grand cracking romantic tortured writer’s move by skipping dinner as well when the smell of fried chicken made him consider otherwise.

I’ll just have some chicken and continue after dinner.

He didn’t save.

Halfway through his fifth piece of chicken, a thunderstorm struck. The trees outside his house – in fact, outside his room – were creaking in the wind. Rain at eight thirty was followed by hail at nine. Lightning bolts crashed through the roofs of two houses on his street, setting fire to the houses and lawns and their trees too. Their trees fell. One landed on their dog’s kennel, but the dog was not inside. Another fell on a stranger’s car, which already had a ticket anyway, which can be a good or bad thing, depending on how one sees these things.

One of the lightning-struck houses was inhabited by Indonesian factory workers. They were the object of hate and disgust by their racist middle-classed neighbours, and those neighbours watched on as three men from that house ran out with fire on their heads. Another one lay in the living room, apparently dead.

While all these things happened, Wilson continued to eat fried chicken at his dining table. Five pieces soon became nine pieces. He was about to begin eating his tenth when the front door fell in and a truck drove into the living room. Not being the kind of truck that stopped at the sight of a television set and a four-seater sofa, the mighty behemoth razed through the entire ground floor of Wilson’s house. The living room, the store room, the common bathroom and the maid’s room were all ploughed through.

This time, Wilson would not be oblivious.

“A truck!”, he exclaimed.

And then, without much logic, Wilson was reminded of his unfinished – and unsaved –short story sitting on his computer upstairs.

“I shall go and finish it”, he thought, evidently now to himself, to himself.

And so he did. He lumbered up the stairs, got back into his room and plonked himself back onto his computer table where he would spend the next two hours finishing his short story. And all the while, carnage ensued outside his house. Fire trucks had arrived and three doors up the road, two elderly women had died of supposed natural causes. The hailstorm had receded but it had already left two firemen injured and the entire road’s cars smashed in.

Wilson wrote his last line.

He liked his last line a lot. He kept reading it. And reading it. And reading it. What an awesome line.

Then he saved the file. And he attached it to an email.

And bypassing all his six fellow-competing friends, Wilson sent in his short story for competition without so much as a second draft.

He lost.

And his ego, like his town, had to be rebuilt from scratch again.

THAILAND 09: UP FOR IT

2009-03-31T13:45:00.001+08:00

There's an air asia flight attendant who doesn't look like she's up for it. bad haircut, over-the-top make up and a scowl right out of a sergio leone film tells her story. flight attendants don't do their pre-flight safety demos with conviction these days. where's the love? i know they're just telling me about inflatable life jackets, but i swear i've seen that done with a lot more verve. what happened? maybe video versions of it happened. there ... one more star that video killed.

as i disappear into the sky between kl and krabi, i'm simultaneously frustrated by the ventures' rendition of apache. what have they done to it? it should be so much more driving. where's the bite? where's that mysteriously alluring thing about apache that has always made it my favourite surf guitar number? they too seem to have forgotten how sexy their tune has always been. here's to krabi having more mojo than this.

air asia flight ak 862, 1.45pm krabi time

THAILAND 09: CONCEPT OF BEAUTY

2009-03-31T03:48:00.002+08:00

You can tell a nation's concept of beauty by the girls they use to model their ads for their national carrier. my first impression was that of a thai air girl on a cardboard cutout. i knew it. thailand having better looking people is a myth.

myth or not, the great medium that is the television in our hotel room threw up an entirely contrasting response.

travelbuddy 1: why do they have prettier girls here?

fergus: it's the population, dude. they got 60 million people. that's a lot more beauty in the gene pool.

travelbuddy 1: aaaahh.... the gene pool!

krabi river hotel, hot afternoon

TRANSCRIBE

2009-03-30T17:34:00.000+08:00

TRANSCRIBE

Will transcribe travelling journal here, in backposts.

BIBLE IN A YEAR: REPEAL

2009-03-22T17:19:00.003+08:00

BIBLE IN A YEAR: REPEAL

In chapter 1, pharoah decrees that "every boy that is born" must be thrown into the nile. we know that moses escaped this watery death, but why is it then that he had male contemporaries? were they all older than him? aaron, his brother? the beat up hebrew in chapter 2? the two hebrews who were fighting later on? all the migrating israelites at the crossing of the red sea? just how many "every boys" slipped through pharoah's net? and how long before that decree was repealed? ancient egyptian enforcement musn't have been much better than malaysia's.

(Exo 1-2)

BIBLE IN A YEAR: LONG

2009-03-21T17:06:00.000+08:00

BIBLE IN A YEAR: LONG

At the risk of sounding as whiny as king david, here's a piece of psalm that adequately speaks about my dread at reaching this part of my bible-in-a-year schedule.

Psalm 6:3

"my bones are in agony ... My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long?"

to which i hear the creator of the heavens and earth reply "pretty long. you're only on psalm 6 - we managed to put together 150".

to which i say that this is positively the last time i'll whine about the psalms.

(Ps 6)

BIBLE IN A YEAR: WHINING

2009-03-20T16:12:00.000+08:00

BIBLE IN A YEAR: WHINING

I don't know if you've ever heard anyone say this before, but i'm not a big fan of the psalms. i can't get into it, not more than one psalm at a time and even then, the tone of the psalms always irritate me. king david comes across as a big whiny spoilt brat who, no matter how many times it happens, never gets used to the fact that if he has enemies, he needs to stand up to them. nothing wrong with getting the Almighty involved, but it doesn't make his whining any more readable. okay, so it's made its way into holy scripture and so i'm supposed to like it. but i'm struggling. lord, he knows i'm struggling. maybe one day i'll write a whiny psalm whining about the psalms.

(Ps 1-8)

BIBLE IN A YEAR: GUILT

2009-03-19T10:36:00.000+08:00

BIBLE IN A YEAR: GUILT

It's only just occurred to me how matthew ends with two hangings. one is, of course, the hanging of Jesus on the cross. the other is the hanging of judas on a tree in a field. the bible says that he was struck with remorse. He had already tried returning the silver coins to absolve himself of some of the guilt, and when the chief priests with whom he'd been dealing refused to accept it cleanly, he tossed it at them and went off to hang himself. i don't know. this is a very sad picture for me. it's a picture of someone who cannot get over his remorse, and is literally defeated by it. i know cos i know what guilt feels like. but i still don't know guilt that feels worse than death. i guess judas knew that kind of guilt.

(Matt 27)

PROBLEM EJECTING USB

2009-03-14T00:01:00.000+08:00

You've all seen this one before haven't you? yeah. it wouldn't be so bad if there was a real reason why. like, let's run through the three definitive reasons why your generic volume may not be stopped.

(1) you're playing an mp3 off it

(2) you're halfway copying a bunch of files onto it

(3) it shoots a double barrel like a young clint eastwood.

other than that, no, there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to eject your usbs when you're no longer using them. but that's not always the case, is it? take this screencap, for instance. it was taken when all the windows had been closed and all the programs had been exited. the drive was, as far as the user was concerned, no longer active. still, it couldn't eject.

happens to you? well, let me be a used-car salesman for a moment and brag about apple.

on the mac, if your thumdrive browser window is open, and you send your thumbdrive to eject, your window slides away and your thumdrive ejects.

so, my friends, they always say that what makes good marriages work are the small things. well, this one small thing unnecesarily drove my relationship with the pc deeper into the jungles of uganda.

i love my mac. if you have one, you'll love it too.

BIBLE IN A YEAR: COMFY

2009-03-13T12:00:00.003+08:00

BIBLE IN A YEAR: COMFY

Why didn't jacob's family just pack up and go back to canaan after the famine was over? didn't they see it coming, that one day a new pharoah would preside and not value their contribution? by the time their family got to egypt, it was already two years into the famine. surely they could have returned to canaan before they got enslaved for the generations till moses. why didn't they just get up and go home? was goshen too comfy?

(Exo 1)

ITUNES GROUPING

2009-03-12T13:32:00.004+08:00

Fergus: shyte

i just discovered stg

about itunes

Chrischew: ooo what

Fergus: you can add tags to songs

it's called Grouping

Chrischew: eh meaning?

Fergus: you can add words in the attributes, separated by commas

then if you do searches, theyw ill search for those keywords too

for example

i can tag all my smiths songs with keywords "morrissey" and "marr"

Chrischew: ooooooo

Fergus: so if i run a search for morrissey, i get his solo stuff and smiths

if i tag my modest mouse with "marr" as well

a "marr" search will throw up both bands

Chrischew: ooooo

Fergus: think about it

you can tag "yap" on all of furniture, ferns, this body broken and azmyl yunor tracks

Chrischew: ahahahhah

LIVERPOOL 4 REAL 0

2009-03-11T10:57:00.003+08:00

I'm not kidding. i really prayed about this. wai nyan, if you're reading this, i'm serious.

BIBLE IN A YEAR: PATRIARCHS

2009-03-10T10:59:00.004+08:00

BIBLE IN A YEAR: PATRIARCHS

The more i read the patriarchs, the more messed up they seem. it's true. and a part of me is quite pissed off that the heroes of my faith were all so disfunctional. i mean, think about it. abraham went from town to town telling everyone that his wife was his sister. he even got caught out by two kings! he then agrees when his wife sets him up for a one night stand with her maid. great job for a guy whose greatest contribution to the faith was having the balls to kill his own son. and what happens to that son when he grows up? isaac, great patriarch isaac, went and also told other kings that his wife was his sister, and then got caught making out with her in the yard. what's wrong with these people?? i don't geddit!! and we're just getting started, mind you. isaac's greatest contribution to the faith was probably handing out only the most collosally amazing blessing... to the wrong son! and the son who got that blessing? jacob, oh great father jacob. not enough that he conned his brother into selling him his birthright at his moment of weakness, he had to con his brother again by stealing his blessing (complete with fake hairy arms and a costume change) and later in life he would also systematically con his father in law of all his flocks. somewhere between all this shenanigans, great jacob manages to sire twelve sons and one daughter by sleeping with two wives and their respective maids as the two leading ladies jostle for children they can drag and drop into their folders. someone tell me. why are they all so twisted? i've read genesis about a gazillion times now but seriously, i've never felt the full power of three generations of unadulterated disfunction prior to this. the patriarchs are just out of this world. i've got no proper vocabulary to describe them further.

BIBLE IN A YEAR: SIBLINGS

2009-03-05T14:56:00.002+08:00

BIBLE IN A YEAR: SIBLINGS

Genesis is full of sibling rivalries. and it's weird - God seems to tolerate it. ever since he favoured abel's gift over cain's, it's been a nonstop theme that pops up eveywhere. noah's sons (ham v shem & japeth), abraham's sons (ishmael v isaac), isaac's sons (esau v jacob), jacob's sons (joseph v 11 brothers). i'm thinking, what's God trying to say with all these brother wars?

love? peace? reconciliation? or are we really in the ballpark of "I did not come to bring peace, but a sword"? is God trying to say something about allegiance? blood is thicker than water. but maybe God's trying to establish something thicker than blood. but why does he use fragmented brothers to tell this great big story about allegiance to him? i've been thinking about this for a whole two days but i still don't get it. do you?

(Gen 16)

BIBLE IN A YEAR: CITY

2009-03-04T14:35:00.005+08:00

BIBLE IN A YEAR: CITY

We always think of the tower of babel as just a tower but it wasn't. it was a city with a tower. the folks built a city of bricks and tar and the tower really sounds more like a finishing touch to me. and when the bible talks about the project getting canned, it says "so the lord scattered them from there over all the earth, and they stopped building the city. that is why it was called babel...". no emphasis on the tower. no reason for us to mythicise it as the main protagonist of this episode.

all these years, i've never really read the bible for myself, or read it for details. so i guess i had it coming getting surprised like this.

so thank you misleading bible editorial heading. i'm reading the chapter for myself now and striking out your chapter heading. i'm writing in it "city of babel".

(Gen 11)

BIBLE IN A YEAR: VOYEURISM

2009-03-03T10:16:00.004+08:00

BIBLE IN A YEAR: VOYEURISM

Halfway through the Bible, you'd be forgiven for thinking that the Semites and the Canaanites were cosmically meant to always be kicking at each other. But last night, I realised that it all started with a really dumb fiasco involving a plastered Noah who got too much gear off and some voyeurism on the part of his son, Ham.

The best part about this is that there are some really bad ham sup jokes in here just waiting to be made.

(Gen 9)

BIBLE IN A YEAR: WATER

2009-03-02T10:48:00.004+08:00

BIBLE IN A YEAR: WATER

Creation is weird. there's this thing called "the deep" and darkness hovered over it. and there's this thing called "the waters" and God's spirit hovered over it. then what does God do? He sticks this thing in between "the waters" called sky. Now if that's weird, it's really because my mortal brain cannot process what it means to have water, or any matter for that matter, above the sky. as far as my natural build can comprehend, the closest thing that can get above the sky is a very tall bird.

(Gen 1)

BIBLE IN A YEAR...

2009-03-01T10:27:00.002+08:00

BIBLE IN A YEAR...

...starts today.

MAC LOVER BUYS CHEAP PC

2009-02-27T10:17:00.001+08:00

I won an office computer.

well, it's not free. i won a draw to buy it at two hundred sultans along with about a gazillion other colleagues, all of whom are vying for half a gazillion beat up dell pcs. i'm chuffed.

there are exactly four reasons why anybody would want to bid for an old office computer. they are as follows:

(1) they want to give it to their kid
(2) they're getting it for their sister-in-law's uncle's half brother's mongoose
(3) they want a dedicated all-downloading all-pirating machine
(4) they want to hack it and install mac osx on it.

i did some church work with this cool couple last year, whose coolness took a major spike when i discovered that they (actually he) had hacked their pc to install mac's operating system, the osx. i googled hacking pcs to install osx and all the easy three-step guides look like ancient hebrew to me, but i'm inclined to think that i can pay my way into some snow leopard love.

ram is still hot d*mn because the pc comes with only 512 megs of it, and all the hacking sites have pcs with like four gigs. (four gigs?) here's hoping i can get away with less. the pickupability of this pc stands at five hours from press time. then, it's off to the diligent search for someone who can help me hack it. until then, well, i guess i could do with a dedicated all-downloading all-pirating machine.

REAL MADRID 0 LIVERPOOL 1

2009-02-26T09:18:00.005+08:00

Fergus walks up to roger's desk and thumps his fist in the air.

Roger: congrats

Fergus: i distinctly remember someone saying it was gonna be 6-1

Roger: yeah, actually i wrote 6-1 but my 6 looped too high, it ended up looking like a 0

messed with the stars

Fergus: ahhh. well, thanks, thanks. i'll have you know that i also wrote 10-0 for man united

but my 1 didn't really come out

Roger: right. there's always the return leg

I love my liverpool like this. up against the best in the world, tagged as the perrenial underachievers and written off by most as an underdog. that's when my liverpool stands up. i love the character they show when nobody believes that they can do it. give liverpool the toughest opposition and talk about it like a walk-over. that's how we wake up.

all my liverpool fandom, i've never known the giddying heights of topping the table and bossing the league. all i've ever known has been romantic cup runs. i fell in love with liverpool over their 1995 fa cup run and my first real taste of victory came in 2001 when we won three cups in three months. in 2005 we had that unbelievable european cup run that resulted in instanbul (and what is now the notorious account of me weeping on my knees) and since then, it's still been cups, cups, cups.

i don't know if i'm just escaping the sorrow of league mediocrity again, but it's a very comforting escape. it's comforting to know that while man u and chelsea have traded league titles in the last five years, there is one thing liverpool do better than anyone else in the world - come up against the giants in cup competitions and send them home.

all this will be moot if we don't get a result next week at anfield. but i'm thinking not. onwards to the quarter finals.

WEDNESDAYS

2009-02-25T11:11:00.001+08:00

WEDNESDAYS

Full-time cell leader days.

DEEP FRIED CARBS

2009-02-24T10:01:00.001+08:00

DEEP FRIED CARBS

Second only to deep fried animals.

DANNY SAUNDERS

2009-02-23T10:02:00.000+08:00

DANNY SAUNDERS

I want to be a geek too.

THERE WAS LIGHT BEFORE SUN

2009-02-22T10:03:00.001+08:00

THERE WAS LIGHT BEFORE SUN

Genesis 1 is weird.

RAM IS HOT DAMN

2009-02-21T00:02:00.003+08:00

I need to get with the times. and so, today, allow me to confess to my limited online community that i have been keeping a shameful thing for a long time. i've tried to change it before but i've never found the right impetus to make the change happen. but i'm going to now, you see. i'm determined more than ever.

i've only got 384MB of RAM in salvador.

yes, it's true. you know all those new programs that need 512 megs of ram? i don't have them. you know football manager 09? i bought it. i can't install it. you know apple's iWorks 09 that i blogged about yesterday? i can't buy it. i know i know it's embarrasing. stop making that "tsik-tsik-tsik" sound with your tongue.

i've previously gone to machines to ask them about dumping in new ram. they're fronthouse is actually quite savvy and nice, but they took my number and never gave me the callback that they said they'd give. out of convenience, i'm gonna give them one last shot. after that, it's elsewhere. jack's beloved epicenter or something. anything. anywhere. i just want my ram. it's been too long, too slow.

maybe this weekend. maybe this weekend, i'll go out there and power up salvador so he doesn't plod along like the 2004 machine that he really is. and then after that? software heaven. first iWork. then, this.

WORD PROCESSOR DAY

2009-02-20T15:01:00.005+08:00

Today is word processor day. i've done nothing today but compare online reviews about word processors for macs. how did it start?

thay's got a mac friend called leroy (yes, mac people have cool names like leroy) and leroy asked her today if she'd like to be one of five people sharing iWork and iLife. when i caught wind of this, i knew immediately that i needed to dig to the bottom of the iWork well and see how Pages (the iWork version of MS Word) stacks up against the other word processors in its weight division. so here are the challengers.

ms office for mac
the most poweful, the most expensive but also the most familiar of all word processors. what constitutes power in a word processing world of course is beyond me. maybe it can lift trucks while accepting track changes. point is that office is the tried and true and if you're not up sticking one of the pasar malam versions into your virginally white macbook, then it's either look elsewhere or pour a gazillion dollars down bill gates' throat to go with the other gazillion dollars that you've previously poured in.

openoffice
so if gazillion dollars of dollars matters to you, then welcome the open source rivals. openoffice, originally dredged up by sun microsystem geeks is about as plain and straightforward as they come. it's used across platforms, which made it hard for me to find good screencaps of it running on osx. which sucks. on to the next one.

neooffice
neooffice is built on openoffice but fitted to work best on osx, which makes it a very dandy option indeed. it looks quite alright and supposedly integrates well with other mac programs. i tried this once myself, and actually have the dmg file on salvador. unlike the ms office or iWorks, it's one program from which you launch your word processors and spreadsheets, etc. compact. best thing is, like openoffice, this one is open source, which means it's free. if you can access my blog and read this, you can download it completely.

iWork
showoff. ok fine. i have no idea why i ended up rooting for all the underdog open sourced word processors because a true machead will fall in love with iWork and for good reason. it's prettier than scarlett johanson, it's got templates that make me want to use templates and best of all, you can drag in songs from itunes, pics from iphoto and videos from imovie to add to your iWork document. you can do this even on Numbers, which is their version of Excel. showoff. i know.

so that's how it's stacked up. one whole day researching on word processors when the one word processor that i'm supposed to be using (epic editor) has been left on idle since morning. my verdict? if you can find the money, go iWork. if not, open source. actually no. if you don't have the money, how da heck have you afforded a mac in the first place?

ALTERNATE DAYS

2009-02-18T17:26:00.003+08:00

Athalia: anything on tomorrow?
Fergus: nopes. i make it a point to be unexpectedly tied up on alternate days.
Athalia: -_-

WHY DOES CHELSEA SUCK?

2009-02-17T16:05:00.005+08:00

Because lampard, ballack, deco, anelka, drogba, ashley cole, malouda and mikel will never be as badass as this little girl and her dad.

BE MY MIRROR

2009-02-11T15:12:00.003+08:00

A COUPLE

2009-02-10T09:18:00.006+08:00

When someone says "I crashed a couple of cars last week", did that person crash two cars or something like two to five cars?

i say two.

i'm quite liberal with my language rules but for some reason, i cannot seem to see past this one. a couple of anything is two. not three. not four. because you can say "a few" or "some" when referring to an undetermined small number, you really shouldn't be using "couple" for anything other than two.

so i took this little query to the two dictionaries on my working desk. first, the macquarie dictionary, my official rulebook for australian english usage. the macquarie gives 14 definitions of "couple", in all its permutations, and makes no room for anything other than two or a pair. the second dictionary is a personal favourite of mine, the somewhat candid collins advanced learners. their first definition for couple says "two or approximately two".

i love my collins, and i respect it dearly, but i'm going to have to disagree with it today. what on earth is "approximately two"? it's either two nor not. or one. or three. there's no such thing as approximately two. maybe for some things but not for most.

i'll be fair. you can be approximately 2km from your local donut shop because you're actually 1.8km away from it. that's fine. maybe it's fair for you to say you're a couple of kilometers from the donuts. but you can't have dinner with approximately two guys. you can't dig approximately two holes and you can't hold approximately two ideas. there are some nouns in this world for which there can be no approximation, and for these nouns, you just can't use "a couple" to mean anything other than two.

if the thing can only exist in whole or not at all, a couple always means two. if the thing can exist in a variety of minute degrees around two, then yes, a couple can mean approximately two.

in fact, i think now that that's what the collins advanced learners means. and yes, now i'll stand by it. and stand by the macquarie. you can't use "couple" to mean three or four things.

ON JUDAEOPHILIA

2009-02-09T03:17:00.007+08:00

These aren't fantastic days to be a judaeophile. god knows i've never been one.

(click here for a hillarious spoof of the jaws movie poster)

we had a jewish pastor preach at church today. he preached what i always imagined was the quintessential jewish christian sermon, ie the jesus-is-so-very-the-OT-lamb-he's-not-kidding sermon. about half way through, when he told us that he'd done pesach with about a hundred plus singaporeans in traditional jewish style, i wondered, to what extent should we be judaeophilic? (right now, i'm also wondering two other things: firstly, if they had any checks in place for the lamb's blemish rating, and secondly, should 'judaeophile' be spelled 'judeophile', without the 'a'?)

i know enough christians who are convinced that a truly authentic expression of their christian faith involves flag dancing, blowing weird-sounding horns during worship, knowing their hebrew root words and wearing tassled clothes. others either have their brains configured to judean geohistory or have one eye on the israel situation everyday.

i've always been a bit iffy about this one. we're the gentile world right? i'm evangelising to and living among what is essentially globalised malaysians with our own ethnic hang-ups. what really is the relevance of an israel fixation in my world? but doesn't the bible say that i'm adopted into the bloodline of abraham, isaac and jacob? isn't that fundamentally the grandfamily of the jewish people? oh but wait. maybe i want to trim the fat off all the stereotypes of churchisms and seek an expression that's less culturally saturated and more kingdomlike.

i don't know. idon'tknowifiwanttoknow.

i wonder, what happens to us if it really does matter?

i'm reading this book right now called the chosen, by jewish fiction writer chaim potok. i'm sure that's worth at least 50 judaeophile points. let's see. my favourite meat is pork. that's gotta be something like a minus 10,000. maybe if i pray hard enough, God will let me grow a beard. that must be worth at least 2000 points. nevermind the fact that i'd look way cool.

THE LINE IS A WASTE OF TIME

2009-01-23T14:39:00.011+08:00

Yes. increasingly, boundless line is starting to feel like a lot of wasted reading time. i keep going back hoping for more of what hooked me to it in the first place. but every day now, it looks more and more like a lobby group. or an american version of rtm.

take candice watters for instance, who two days ago went on about how she lives in the greatest country in the world, because "for all the bombs lobbed against us -- figuratively and literally -- we will witness again the transfer of power from one ruling ideology to another, all without a single shot being fired".

obviously you can't take stupidity like that lying down, and not just because America hasn't been properly bombed in a long time. so i wrote a comment to her reminding her that this great nation is the same great nation that sells about 30 billion dollars worth of firearms to the third world every year so they can kill each other while she has her peaceful inauguration. i also told her i hope she enjoyed her peaceful inauguration.

true to form, they didn't publish it. not that i expected them to. they never publish my comments and maybe for good reason. they're not speaking to young christians and "bringing focus to the single years" anymore.

boundless line, which started off as a place where honest young christians wrote largely about relationships, christian character and what it means to serve and love has degenerated into a somewhat ugly mouthpiece for pro-life obsessiveness (don't mess ok, foetus fatigue is not an option) and idolatrous americanism. i really don't know how writers like candice watters can get a writing gig with them. i guess like most things, it's a case of standard jatuh.

I WANT TO SURF

2009-01-23T11:44:00.008+08:00

You've awakened terrible things, thay. you have.

board rental is RM15 a day. private instructor's RM80 an hour. how much is it again to fly to kata beach at phuket? RM144 round trip? you know, that's not too bad. and accomodation? RM50 for a backpacker place huh.

let's see... that's about 700 bucks for five days of surfing at the beach, with surfing lessons, food, lodging, and travel all worked in. evil, i tell you.

pure aquatic sunset beach evil.

i wan.

CHANDRAN AND CHANDRAN

2009-01-22T15:59:00.007+08:00

1.30pm
(hmmm where's my access card? oh, where's my wallet? must be in the car)

2.54pm
Let's go downstairs for a drink. vending machine.

2.56pm
I don't have my access card. it's in the car.

3.01pm
Eh. it's not here lah. it must've dropped out in dengkil.

(on the drive to dengkil)

3.06pm
Lady: Hello. fergus ong? i'm from geena hair salon ah. just now one man chandra called. he said you lost your wallet. you go and get from him now?

3.08pm
Fergus: Hello, mr chandra? oh mr chandran? yes, i think i left my wallet just now. ya. i'm on my way now. thanks!

3.10pm

(chandran 1 wags his finger at me as i walk towards him. he's on a table with another man.)

Chandran 1: Fergus ong

Fergus: Hi mr chandran. thanks so much.

Chandran 2: So you are Fergus ong ah.

Fergus, turning to the other man: Yes.

Chandran 2, pulling out my wallet: You check your money, see if it's all there. i went through some of your contacts, then i found this... rina or gina or dunno what. actually i called another contact, this diana. but she say she don't know you.

Chandran 1: Nasib baik tau. tadi orang sapu lantai kat sana, dompet lu kat sini! saya pun kelam kabut wo!

Chandran 2: We thought maybe we keep for one day then if nobody come then give to balai.

Chandran 1: Ic semua ada kat dalam wo!

Chandran 2: Better you check all your money all there la.

Fergus, to chandran 2: Thanks so much. What's your name?

Chandran 2: Chandran.

Fergus, to chandran 1: Oh. so how about you?

Chandran 1: I oso chandran.

We laugh a bit, shake hands and i give chandran 1, who is the gerai owner, a reward. of course, all this essentially means only one thing - no more hakka mee when i eat on that side.

GCB 09

2009-01-20T16:48:00.001+08:00

09 BRANDING

Like the new logo?

IT'S NOT WORKING

2009-01-19T13:55:00.001+08:00

IT'S NOT WORKING

Drip drip drip drip drip.

HANDHELD

2009-01-18T13:56:00.000+08:00

HANDHELD

Ow my back!

2009-01-17T14:00:00.001+08:00

YOU DESERVE A BIG FISH

Flap! flap! o_O

THERE'S NOBODY HERE

2009-01-16T13:57:00.000+08:00

THERE'S NOBODY HERE

See? it's just me!

YOU DO NOT BELONG TO RICH ARABS

2009-01-15T10:18:00.000+08:00

YOU DO NOT BELONG TO RICH ARABS

Please don't ever go there.

LIKE MY DAD

2009-01-14T19:19:00.002+08:00

LIKE MY DAD

Now i know why i like pulasan so much - my dad likes the big version!

ON DREAMING ALOUD

2009-01-13T17:45:00.003+08:00

It's frightening to talk about your dreams. i've learned the hard way that when you have a dream to do something or be someone, that maybe it's a good idea to keep it to yourself.

i've opened up my mouth a lot. too much. to too many people. some have kept my dreams in a good place. they push me along and sometimes they don't say anything. but if you share your dreams with too many people, someone is bound to mishandle it. maybe someone will make it sound like a stupid dream to have. or someone will be uninterested. or someone will jump in and share that dream with you, and then jump out just as quickly. i've been on both sides. i know now to keep my mouth shut.

nobody expects anything from someone who doesn't set himself up. some days, i wish i spent the last ten years playing my cards a lot closer to my chest. because once you've shared your dream, a bit of its magic goes away. it starts that maturing process where it ends up in one of two places: fulfilment or the scrapheap. and maybe some of our dreams are less serious, but it's planted in our hearts anyway. and maybe we don't want the magic of that dream consigned to a scrapheap. maybe we prefer for that dream to burn privately inside us than get out and fail.

some dreams are meant to be achieved. i know that. but maybe only some. maybe other dreams are meant to drive us, but privately. never spoken. never known to anyone but ourselves.

THREE THINGS

2009-01-10T16:08:00.021+08:00

This year, i don't have a big list of resolutions, like the 207 that i had in 07, or the 8 year-long lifestyle changes that i had in 08. no, this year, i'm going to do very few things. but it'll be easier to prioritise this year. here's how it goes.

in 2009, i will focus on one thing, and it's building. and i will focus on building three things:

the first is my relationship with athalia. i wanna keep moving that forward.

the second is my cell, especially my core members. i really want to pour into their lives this year.

the third is large door pictures, my video production company. i want to push it into some real gears before the year is through.

that's all. if i can do these three things well before 2010, i'll be a very pleased lad.

CHRISTMAS CELL VIDEO

2009-01-08T19:38:00.004+08:00

CHRISTMAS CELL VIDEO

Not mine, athalia's. as far as cell videos are concerned, this is thay's sophomore directorial effort and i'm really proud of it. not least of all because i DPed on it. yes, i'm vain like that. anything i DP on immediately becomes an object of splendour, worthy only of the most pure adoration. sorry what? oh you don't know what DP means? DP means "did pissnothing". yeah, sorry about that industry jargon. my bad.

actor's credits:

walking girl: qianyi

driving girl: cikki

painting girl: liz

down in the dumps guy: danny

stressed out guy: joseph

GOODCHRISTIANBOY

SO I DON'T FORGET #1

WHERE DOES THIS GO?

THESE GLORIOUS DAYS

THE WORLD CUP DRAW IS RIGGED IF...

THE PROBLEM WITH WEN TI

ON ISRAEL

HAPPINESS WILL GET YOU IN THE END

IS THAT YOU IN MY SKETCHUP MODEL FERGS?

PLANTING A TREE

BLESSED ARE THE PEACEMAKERS

SO, HOW CAN WE FILL THAT GAP?

I THINK IF WE WANT THEM TO COME ON WEDNESDAYS...

SHE'S LIKE THIS MEGA BRITNEY FAN

WHY IS THIS TOILET BOWL THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS?

SNIFF SNIFF

ALL NIGHTER

AESTHETIC 02

SPLIT SCREENS

SILICONE CHIP

DINNER

QUOTE

DELIVERING FOOTAGE

AESTHETIC 01

WELCOME

NOBODY

OLDER

WINE

FIREPROOF

WHAT CAN I SAY?

KEYS

I HATE JARGON

SEPTEMBER

GROGGY

SIGNS OF LIFE

WON'T MISS HIM

PLEASE DON'T DIE, HEIDI (PLEASE)

I *HEART* GOLDEN SILVERS

MYBODYISN'THACKINGIT

SHOULD I REALLY BE BUYING BLACK SOCKS

PUT ON A TABLE

I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

BEATITUDES HOMEWORK 4

REMEMBERING JOHOR

ELEVEN YEARS OF BIG EARS

BEATITUDES HOMEWORK 3

MONUMENTAL WEEKEND

BEATITUDES HOMEWORK 2

BEATITUDES HOMEWORK 1

ON TAKING YOUR CROSS

TO QUOTE: ON RELEVANT NONCONFORMITY

COME HOME

TO QUOTE: ON THE BOMB

TO QUOTE: ON FRIDAY

THE POLICE WANT TO KNOCK ON YOUR DOOR

TO QUOTE: ON THEREFORE

"MY ATTEMPT AT WRITING A SHORT STORY"

THAILAND 09: UP FOR IT

THAILAND 09: CONCEPT OF BEAUTY

TRANSCRIBE

BIBLE IN A YEAR: REPEAL

BIBLE IN A YEAR: LONG

BIBLE IN A YEAR: WHINING

BIBLE IN A YEAR: GUILT

PROBLEM EJECTING USB

BIBLE IN A YEAR: COMFY

ITUNES GROUPING

LIVERPOOL 4 REAL 0

BIBLE IN A YEAR: PATRIARCHS

BIBLE IN A YEAR: SIBLINGS

BIBLE IN A YEAR: CITY

BIBLE IN A YEAR: VOYEURISM

BIBLE IN A YEAR: WATER

BIBLE IN A YEAR...

MAC LOVER BUYS CHEAP PC

REAL MADRID 0 LIVERPOOL 1

WEDNESDAYS

DEEP FRIED CARBS

DANNY SAUNDERS

THERE WAS LIGHT BEFORE SUN

I HEART GOLDEN SILVERS